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My purpose is to live for Christ alone.

13bForgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
- Philippians 3:13b-14 (NIV)

For beautiful the prize, and great our hope.

2017/12/17 18:20 Sunday

Slept until 10 am, so I wasn't able to do the club ride.

The webcast was disappointing. Up until soon after the sermon started, there were only a few minor glitches. I was thankful for that. Then, the webcast became unwatchable. The audio and video were both choppy. Only a few words were intelligible here and there during the sermon. Gave up after a while and started getting things ready to do a ride.

The goal for the ride was only 20 miles, as I was tired. Did 20.14 miles of laps on the Roubaix Pro at a slow pace. Averaged only 14.3 mph. By 15 miles or so, I was starting to struggle.

Didn't read today. Became too tired before I thought of it. Was exhausted by about 4:30pm. Now, after being awake for not even 8 1/2 hours, I am going to finish getting ready for bed and collapse.

2017/12/16 20:15 Saturday

Made it through the work week.

If I wake up early enough and am not too tired, I might do the club ride in the morning and then watch the webcast after the ride. I am assuming that the webcast will be available to watch after the service, as it has been lately. I'm thinking that the church does that because they have viewers in other parts of the world, as the pastor has mentioned in the past. I will likely be too tired to ride at all tomorrow, though.

Quite a few days ago, I dreamt again that I was in the church office. This time, I felt very afraid, and after I left, I was terrified of being arrested. I didn't wake up right away, but figured out that I was in a dream. I managed to reassure myself that it was only a dream that I had been at the church, and I would not be arrested. It was a nightmare, not just a dream.

2017/12/15 21:45 Friday

Three down, one to go.

Will be getting to bed very late. Got home late due to a traffic jam on the 395 coming home. Then I entered my medical history in a doctor's office patient portal. Then I went to the apartment complex Christmas party for a short while to take some photos. Next I showered. After that, I made a lunch for tomorrow. Read a couple of news articles. Now I am going to finish getting ready for bed and collapse. Don't know how I will survive the day tomorrow. I barely made it through work today because I was so exhausted, and tomorrow I will be even more tired from lack of sleep.

2017/12/14 21:15 Thursday

Two down, two to go.

Had to help the downstairs neighbor get her new (refurbished) computer hooked up and connected to her router this evening. For some reason, my laptop screen went blank when booting into Windows 10. Got it to work, finally.

Am about to drop from exhaustion.

2017/12/13 20:55 Wednesday

One work day down, three to go. Stayed up too late reading the news again. Am so tired my head is spinning.

2017/12/12 18:55 Tuesday

Another frustrating day. Didn't have time to ride, because I was doing the things I didn't have time to do yesterday due to having to help the downstairs neighbor. Speaking of her, I had to help her compose an email this evening. A while ago, she signed up for some scam about learning how to sell things on amazon. I told her right off the bat, and more than once after that, that it sounded like a scam, but she said she was praying it wasn't. She had put down a $1000 deposit. Yes, that was the deposit amount. She didn't say how much the full amount was. Anyway, she began to be suspicious today, and took the documents to her bank to ask for advice. They told her that it did indeed appear to be a scam. They faxed the cancellation document to the company, and advised her to send them a cancellation email also and to initiate a reversal of the credit card charge. Good thing she has a bank that took the time to look over the documents for her.

Went to His Word today to get a gift card for Amy and a calendar for myself. Picked up a couple of study guides for myself also, one on James and one on Peter. Not sure when I'll find the time to work on them. Hopefully my health will get better before too much longer, and I will stop sleeping 12-15 hours a night on my days off.

Didn't find time to read today.

2017/12/11 16:50 Monday

If it's not one thing with the downstairs neighbor, it's another. Her PC motherboard died. She wanted me to go with her to New 2 U computers. That turned into over two and a half hours worth of time. Then, since they are going to do a transfer of data from her old hard drive to a new (used) PC, I lent her my laptop so she could check her email until the new PC is ready. Had to install Norton on it, and also create a Windows 10 account for her on the laptop. Then I had to get it to connect to the wifi on her router (actually, it's my router that she is using), which for some reason took a while. I didn't have time to do any of that, but I did it anyway. I had planned to finish my Christmas cards and post the photos of yesterday evening's cycling club party today, among other things, but didn't have time because of her.

Stayed up way too late last night reading the news after the party, and then right before going to bed I remembered that I had the calcium score test at 7:45 am. Didn't get nearly enough sleep. Off to finish getting ready for bed.

2017/12/10 22:15 Sunday

Dreamt again last night that I was at the church. It wasn't during a service; I was in the office. I had been called there to help with something computer-related. Most of the time during my church dreams, I dream that I am there during a service, and that I am there anonymously, or even invisibly. This time, though, people were greeting me by name, including the pastor.

It was a blessing to be able to watch the webcast today. There were only a few glitches. I watched the replay afterward to see if the glitches were on the webcast or due to a brief Charter issue. They were on the webcast. The Christmas carols stirred my soul, as did the sermon.

It occurs to me that given that the webcast is accessible after the live webcast is over, I could do the club rides in the morning and then watch the webcast afterward. Will wait a few Sundays to make sure that it continues to be accessible in the afternoon, though.

The tax plan of Trump and his cronies is set to make wage earners pay the highest tax percentages. That is just one of the things that makes me angry about Trump and the trumplodytes.

2017/12/09 19:50 Saturday

My weekend is here, thankfully.

2017/12/08 20:25 Friday

Two work days down, one to go. Sunday will be busy. Need to get started on sending out Christmas cards, watch the webcast (or at least try), and go to the cycling club Christmas party. On Monday morning, I have the cardiac calcium score test. Have to do a lot of laundry Monday or Tuesday. Would like to ride Monday and Tuesday. Definitely won't have time to ride on Sunday.

2017/12/07 20:40 Thursday

One work day down, two to go. Am utterly exhausted, but spent some time reading articles on I need a life outside of work, including on work days.

With all the uproar about sexual misconduct, I don't understand how Trump, a sexual predator caught on tape bragging about groping women and forcing himself upon them, has managed to avoid the controversy. I also don't understand how a candidate who preyed upon teenage girls could possibly win a Senate race. I have many other objections to both those persons, too.

2017/12/06 18:25 Wednesday

Did 25.43 miles of laps on the Sirrus Expert. Rode that bike instead of the Roubaix Pro because I was really too tired to ride, and didn't want to risk crashing on the more expensive Roubaix. Averaged only 13.4 mph. Struggled.

A friend from high school lives in Ventura. She and her family are safe, and their home is also. I have been giving thanks for that, and praying that the wind won't shift and send the fire closer to their home.

Read Mark 1.

2017/12/05 18:00 Tuesday

Busy day. Was on the go constantly. Didn't have time to ride, and didn't expect to.

Didn't have time to read, either, before I became too tired. Did listen to the rest of the sermon.

2017/12/04 20:15 Monday

Did 25.5 miles of laps on the Roubaix Pro. That was the first time I had ridden in about three weeks. It was good to be back on the bike. It was cold, but I was dressed well for it. Took it easy, but by the time I was done, I was quite tired, partly because it was 3 o'clock when I finished, and I am always more tired by the afternoon. For that matter, I was already tired when I started. Had a few balance issues because of the fatigue, but I didn't crash. Averaged only 13.9 mph.

There was a cycling club board meeting this evening. Noticed a bit before I left for the meeting that the sermon had been posted, and had time to listen to 23 minutes of it. Will listen to the rest tomorrow. Too tired tonight.

2017/12/03 16:55 Sunday

Left work at about 2:30pm. It was slow, so I got caught up on some things and then left.

I was hoping to be able to watch the webcast after I got home. Clicked on the livestream link, and it started to play, and went for a while without glitches. However, that was only during the slides and the music rehearsal. The stream stopped before any part of the service began.

It worries me that the notes for today's service have not been posted. Am hoping nothing is wrong with the pastor; maybe he is on vacation, or maybe he forgot.

Am utterly exhuasted. Off to finish getting ready for bed.

2017/12/02 20:10 Saturday

Just noticed I put Wednesday as the day of yesterday's post. It is getting harder and harder to function.

Another loathsome card I have been dealt in life is having female anatomy.

Will be working a full day tomorrow, as I will be covering for a co-worker.

2017/12/01 21:10 Friday

After making mention last night of the bitterness I feel about the cards I have been dealt in life, I began to think about what I have been through, which made me feel suicidal again. I was abused and neglected in childhood, I have a mental illness which has caused disasters in my life, I have a criminal record due to the mental illness, I am exhausted all the time, and so on and so forth. The only way out of the suicidal desires is to be thankful for what I do have, including salvation and a relationship with God, and to allow that thankfulness to take my mind off of what I have been through. I have been taking that approach for a while, but I still struggle with the bitterness at times. The sermon was a good reinforcement of the need to be thankful.

2017/11/30 20:45 Thursday

Today was a little slower at work. The morning seemed to drag, but the afternoon flew by. Two work days down, two and a half to go.

I listened to last Sunday's sermon on Monday. It convicted me of the bitterness I feel about the cards I have been dealt in life. More on that another day, maybe.

2017/11/29 20:00 Wednesday

The day at work flew by. Still have email from my days off that I haven't gotten to. There is never enough time to get everything done at work.

2017/11/28 18:50 Tuesday

Got to bed late last night because of dealing with the website, and then woke up really early and couldn't get back to sleep. Tried to start reading Mark today, but was too tired to focus. Spent more time today making sure the website was functioning, and troubleshooting a couple of issues.

Have to work tomorrow through Sunday. Will have Monday - Wednesday off. Am hoping that the webcast will be available when I get home from work on Sunday, and that it will be complete and without glitches. This coming Sunday is the last one I will be working.

2017/11/27 20:40 Monday

Hope kitty woke me up out of a sound sleep after a little over 11 hours. Tried to go back to sleep, but gave up after about an hour.

Had to take care of a website issue for the cycling club that someone else was supposed to take care of over a month ago. Our webhosting service is transitioning us to a new server, and the club web admin had not uploaded the files to the new server even though she said a month ago that she would. The guy who hosts the servers apparently gave up on getting her to do it, and asked me to. That took quite some time today. He will be decommissioning the old server on the 30th, so we were down to the wire. He told her at least two months ago that he would be decommissioning it.

Too tired to read, and too tired to post more notes on the livestream. I will say that maybe part of the problem is my Charter service, given that sometimes when I started the webcast the audio and video were not in sync but at other times when I started it they were. I don't think Charter is the problem, though, given the ping tests I have done during live webcasts. The response times have been consistent with times when I haven't been watching the webcasts, and there have been no dropped packets. However, I can't explain the sync discrepancy unless it is a Charter problem. I would be willing to get AT&T service if it is partly a Charter issue.

2017/11/26 18:30 Sunday

So much for working until 10am and getting home in time to watch the webcast. Ended up having to work until 1:30pm. At least I am hourly and thus will get paid overtime. Not sure I would have been able to see anything much on the webcast anyway. When I got home, I went to the website and tried the livestream link. It started to play, so I was hopeful that I might be able to watch the service. Didn't get very far, though. There were some initial glitches, and the audio was playing a few seconds ahead of the video. Then, not long after the pastor started speaking, the audio and video both froze. Later, I tried again. Then, there were not the glitches and the audio and video were in sync, but it froze at the same spot. Tried again later, and the audio was ahead of the video again. And again, it froze at the same spot. More about this tomorrow. Am too exhausted to think.

2017/11/25 20:35 Saturday

Looks like I will be working only four hours tomorrow morning, which means I will likely be home in time to watch the second service webcast. I will start at 6am, and I expect to be leaving at 10am. Of course, the livestream functionality has been getting worse and worse, so it might not be possible to actually watch anything of the webcast.

2017/11/24 20:40 Friday

Too tired to think of anything to write. My head is spinning from the exhaustion. The Synthroid could take 3-4 months to do any good. I'm hoping it will indeed help.

2017/11/23 19:50 Thursday

Happy Thanksgiving, a little late.

It would be nice to have a job where I didn't have to work on holidays and Saturdays. Am thankful, though, to have a decent job, and that I normally don't have to work on Sundays.

2017/11/22 17:50 Wednesday

My having written below that I also felt a strong sense of the Spirit in the church was an understatement. As I have written about in the past, my sense of God's presence in the church was so strong that when I entered the church the first day I was utterly unnerved. I continued to experience a strong sense of God's presence there for the entire time I attended.

Thankfully, running over the rock with the Crosstrek did not do damage. While I was waiting for it to be checked out, I rode over to Costco for a flu shot. When I saw the cardiologist the other day to ask for a calcium score order, he pushed the idea of getting a flu shot even though I almost never get sick. I cannot recall the last time I got sick. It has been years. I have had only one flu shot in the past, and I felt terrible for a day or so afterward. So far, so good today, though. I still feel okay.

Didn't ride today, other than going to Costco from the Subaru dealership and back. That total was less than a mile. Didn't want to push my body given that I had just had a flu shot.

Ran into my ENT at Costco. I asked her if everything was okay, because she had to leave the office before my appointment. I told her I had been worried. Unfortunately, she said her brother was really sick. I asked her if an esophagus problem would be something she would treat, and she confirmed that I should see a GI doc about it.

In my reading in Matthew today, there was the telling of Christ's betrayal and crucifixion. That tore at my soul. Later, I read an article online in the NY Times site about the pastor of the church where the shooting was and how he is coping with the tragedy, including the loss of his daughter. More soul-wrenching reading. Matthew 28 helped, though, especially Christ's promise, "[L]o, I am with you always, even to the end of the age."

2017/11/21 20:45 Tuesday

Worked from 6am-12:30pm. Listened to last Sunday's sermon after work. Listened to part of it last night, but was too tired then to listen to all of it. Started from the beginning this afternoon. I downloaded it, and will probably listen to it again when I have time.

Went to the cycling club meeting this evening. Glad I don't have to get up early enough to go to work in the morning.

2017/11/20 17:35 Monday

I should have mentioned that there were a couple of times when the live livestream played without error for me for a minute or so, or maybe even two. That would have been starting when I hit refresh at 11:34am and at 12:05pm, if I recall correctly based on my notes in yesterday's post. It might have been working starting before those times, though; by that time, I was working on a bike and wasn't hitting refresh very often.

Slept just short of 15 hours last night. Was in bed for about 30 minutes longer than that. Too tired to ride again today. Not only exhausted, but unsteady in the legs.

Have to work part of the day tomorrow, and then I will go to the cycling club meeting after work. Will have Wednesday off, but will have to take the Crosstrek in for the appointment to get it checked out.

Read Matthew 23-25.

2017/11/19 16:00 Sunday

Decided to watch the webcast. The decision made me feel sort of like I was coming home again. When I started the livestream before the second service, the first service webcast was playing for a short time before it cut out. I heard Bruno speak of how he and his wife chose to become members of the church because they felt the Spirit there. I had a strong sense of the Spirit's presence there also.

Regarding the webcast, though, I have given up on watching it. Can't try to watch it for the next two Sundays, anyway, because I have to work. I will start listening to the audio after it is posted. The livestream was worse than ever today, and was unwatchable. I ended up doing other things while trying to glean a little of the service. During the first song, the audio and video froze constantly, the spinning wheel came up frequently, and the stream sometimes said it was offline. Before that song was over, when I would hit refresh, the first service webcast would be shown. That also happened spontaneously at times. I know it was the first service, because in the lower right-hand corner, it said 38:47, 36:38, or 33:43 instead of "live." When it said 38:47, it would go for just a few seconds, and then stop. When it said 36:38, it went for a while and then cut out frequently. When it said 33:43, it played for several seconds but was choppy, and then it stopped altogether. Similar things happened after that, too. It kept stopping, then when it finally started after I hit refresh several times intermittently while I was doing other things, it said 25:03 and started playing the closing prayer from the first service. That didn't freeze as often, but then the spinning wheel came up before long. When I hit refresh, it went to 20:03 of the first service. Interestingly, the timestamp never changed while the replays were happening. When I hit refresh at 11:34am, the live livestream finally came up, but the audio and video were too choppy to watch and hear most of the time, and the spinning wheel came up sometimes. When it stopped at about 11:59am, I hit refresh, and the timestamp showed 44:26. Hitting refresh kept coming up to that timestamp until when I hit refresh at 12:05pm, when it finally came up as live. It was choppy most of the time then too, though, and kept stopping during the invitation song, during the introduction of the new members, and during the closing remarks and prayer.

I was trying to watch the webcast on Chrome Version 62.0.3202.75 (Official Build) (64-bit) on the Linux PC (Fedora 4.13.9-200.fc26.x86_64), Edge on the Windows 10 laptop (a Lenovo X230), and Internet Explorer on the Windows 7 PC. The latter wouldn't even start the stream; it said, "Error: Unsupported video type or invalid file path." I also tried it in Safari on my iPhone.

Upgraded to Fedora 27 this afternoon. After that, the system wouldn't automount flash drives. I found a set of commands that would enable automounting, but the last step was to restart the display manager. The site didn't warn that doing so could cause a problem. Both monitors went blank. Thankfully, after I used the hard reset button on the PC chassis, everything came up as it should.

Hit a rock with the left front tire of the Crosstrek on the freeway yesterday morning. Have an appointment to take it in to have everything checked on Wednesday morning.

Way too tired to ride today. Utterly exhausted. Never even got out of my pajamas. Off to bed now, after being up for only about eight and a half hours.

Read Matthew 20-22.

2017/11/18 20:20 Saturday

Was busy all day today at work, but the pace wasn't as bad as it has been. Got caught up on a few things.

Am having second thoughts about my decision not to watch the church service webcasts. Will probably go ahead and watch the second service as usual tomorrow. Will sleep on it and decide in the morning.

Unfortunately, I will be working two Sundays coming up soon, November 26th and December 3rd. Being in IT at a .com facility means having to work extra time during the holiday season.

2017/11/17 21:00 Friday

My workload is just brutal. Can't keep going at the pace I have been having to maintain.

2017/11/16 20:35 Thursday

Another non-stop day at work. Still am not anywhere near getting caught up on email. After work, I went to a place that refurbishes bikes and gives many of them to kids. I had found a bike frame near the trash dumpster at my apartment complex, and wanted to take it to them. I assume someone at the complex had the bike frame locked up on their patio, and a thief stripped down what they could take. Anyway, I also had some bike parts that I donated to the bike place. I said hi to the couple who run the place, whom I have known for quite a while, and didn't think I would ever get out of there. The woman kept wanting to show me just one more thing. I really like her, so it was good to see her.

2017/11/15 21:00 Wednesday

The first day back at work was non-stop. Didn't even get close to getting through my email. Someone's hard drive gave up the ghost early in the afternoon, and I had to install the software and so forth that he needed on a different PC. That took quite a while. There were a lot of other things to take care of also.

Have to work an extra day, Tuesday, next week. Will be off work on Wednesday, though, as it would normally be a three-day week for me.

2017/11/14 19:20 Tuesday

Regarding last Sunday's webcast: During the music time, the webcast was choppy. However, when the music was over, the webcast was fine until 11:30, when there was a minor glitch. Then, at 11:37, the audio and video became very choppy. I had both Chrome on the Linux PC and Edge on the Windows 10 laptop running, and was checking the ping times to the church website. The ping times were reasonable, and were the same as when I ran ping tests to the site later that night. There were no dropped packets. The video was choppy and the audio was basically off until 11:44. I hit refresh a few times to see if that would help, but it didn't. At 11:42, the spinning arrow came on, and when I hit refresh a few times then, the audio and video started from the beginning of the service. At 11:44, when I hit refresh, the audio and video came back on and were fine until the end of the webcast.

Perhaps it isn't the right decision to metaphorically walk away, in view of statement A of the "Big Picture Review of Chapter Four" from last Sunday's sermon, but perhaps it is. In a sense, watching the webcasts has resulted in clinging to the past somewhat. I have felt closer to God since I made the decision to walk away, probably due to the pain of the association with the church being lifted. I do have to remind myself at times to let go, however.

Too tired to ride today.

Back to work tomorrow, much to my dismay. Will be working a few extra days during the holidays, which will be hard given my health. The doctor said it could take three to four months before the Synthroid makes a difference.

The ENT had to leave the office for some reason before my appointment, so I had to reschedule. Won't be able to get in to see her until January 30th.

Read Matthew 17-19.

2017/11/13 18:45 Monday

Too windy to ride today, and couldn't get motivated to ride the trainer. Thought about going for a run, but decided I was too tired. Curled up in a chair to rest, but Hope kitty didn't let me rest much. She wanted attention, and I never have the heart to ignore her.

Had an endocrinologist appointment this morning. He agreed that my symptoms were typical of hypothyroidism. He prescribed Synthroid. I had tried a low dose of that with a different doctor, but I didn't stay on it very long because it didn't seem to be helping. I told this doctor that I wanted to try it again, and give it more time this time. He agreed, and put me on a higher dose than before. Went to Costco to pick up the prescription, and ended up standing behind JD Schnabel in the line. It gave me a bit of an anxiety attack. I don't think he recognized me; if he did, he didn't give any indication of it.

Sometimes when I eat, it seems as though there is a blockage in my esophagus down in the chest area. I called the office of the ENT I have gone to, and got lucky in that they had an opening for tomorrow afternoon. I have a dental cleaning and checkup right before that, so the timing will be good.

Read Matthew 15-16.

2017/11/12 18:20 Sunday

I have made a decision. I am no longer going to watch the webcasts, or listen to the sermons, from the church from which I am in permanent exile. I will find a different church's website for recorded sermons, and will start riding with the club on Sunday mornings. I can't help but suspect that the webcast was turned off when it was in the second service today due to a discussion of security, given that the pastor said at the beginning of the service that the church shooting would be discussed more later in the service. If anyone thinks I am a threat, or claims to think that, it would be for the best that I metaphorically walk away.

Did 25.5 miles of laps on the Roubaix Pro. Was taking it very easy to make sure I could do the 25+ without overexerting myself. Averaged only 14.4 mph. Stopped for quite a while to talk to the guy who owns the horses in the pasture by the lake. Hadn't seen him for a while. It was nice to see him and chat with him again.

During the ride, especially for the first several miles, I felt as though the decision to walk away from the church, so to speak, had lifted a heavy weight from my shoulders. It was a good decision to make. It closes the book on a very painful chapter of my life.

Didn't get around to reading today. Too tired to now.

2017/11/11 18:45 Saturday

Almost didn't ride today. Slept only about 8 1/2 hours, and got really tired after being up for a while. Curled up in a chair and rested. Ran an errand, and then decided to go ahead and ride. Did 25.5 miles of laps on the Roubaix Pro. Knew I would be too tired to do 30+, and wasn't sure I would be able to do 25+. Wanted to do at least 20+. Figured I would evaluate when I got close to 20 miles. I should have stopped at 20+, but the stubborn streak kept me going. At least I slowed down for the last five miles in the hope that I wouldn't wear myself out too badly and pay the price tomorrow. Averaged only 14.7 mph.

Did laundry after the ride. Thought I would go to bed soon after finishing it. That didn't happen. Had to go to the pet store and get Hope kitty more canned food. I had two cans, and they were a recipe she used to like, but when I opened one and gave her some, she turned her nose up at it. Left it out for a while in case she decided to eat it, but she just wouldn't. She hadn't eaten much in the last 24 hours or so, and I wanted her to eat something. She hasn't touched her dry food all day. Got her more of the last canned food recipe that I had been feeding her. She ate that. She is a finicky eater, and she would rather not eat than eat something that doesn't appeal to her.

Read Matthew 14.

2017/11/10 18:35 Friday

Did the club ride. It wasn't windy until we got over Windy Hill heading south, but the wind during rest of the ride was terrible. Did 23.08 miles on the Roubaix Pro. My average speed was only 13.1 mph. I really thought I was going to get blown over a lot of the time. It was a very unpleasant ride.

Woke up at about 3:30am and couldn't get back to sleep. Got up and placed an REI order online, and then went back to bed. Still couldn't sleep. Finally got up at about 5:45am.

Read Matthew 13.

2017/11/09 18:40 Thursday

Was so tired yesterday that I left the Roubaix Pro leaning up against the Crosstrek when I came home from the bike shop and was going into the apartment. Did have the feeling I was forgetting something, though. Thankfully, I realized that I had forgotten to lock the car, and turned around to make sure it was locking when I hit the button on the fob. Saw the bike there. The exhaustion is really affecting my life in many ways.

I'm beginning to think that what I was thinking of as heart palpitations might actually be a problem of air caught in the esophagus. Yesterday evening, the sensation was getting almost constant, but then after I experienced a burp (which is rare for me), the sensation went away until late this afternoon. It was not very frequent this afternoon, and after I experienced another burp, it went away altogether.

Too windy to ride outdoors today. Thought about riding the trainer, but decided not to. Got some things done around the apartment instead. Also, thought it would be good to rest up again today because I will likely do a club ride tomorrow.

Read Matthew 10-12.

2017/11/08 18:15 Wednesday

Too tired to ride today. Have been having some heart palpitations, too. That started a few days ago. Made an appointment with a cardiologist for the 20th. Had an extensive cardiac workup a few years ago, and they didn't find anything wrong, but that might have changed. Better safe than sorry, especially with my family history of heart disease. A friend from Maryland had a calcium score test done because of his family history of heart disease, even though he wasn't having any symptoms, and he ended up having a six-bypass surgery done.

Need to make a list of my insurance policies and the beneficiaries just in case something happens to me. I did that a while ago, but I have misplaced it.

Exhausted even though I didn't ride. Off to finish getting ready for bed.

Read Matthew 8-9.

2017/11/07 18:05 Tuesday

Struggled on the ride today. Did only 20.22 miles of laps on the Roubaix Pro. Would have done more miles even though I was struggling, but Amy was waiting for me to get lunch for her. She was working alone at the shop today. Averaged only 14.6 mph despite the low mileage.

Am absolutely exhausted. Off to finish getting ready for bed.

Read Matthew 6-7. Speaking as one who has had a lot of disasters in my life, I'm not sure about trusting God to provide.

2017/11/06 19:30 Monday

Reading more about the church shooting this morning brought tears to my eyes. "Senseless tragedy" may be a cliche, but it fits. Heart-rending also fits. At least from what I read, the neighbor who chased the gunman shot him only while the threat could still be considered immediate, so it would seem that he is in the clear. I would really hate for the neighbor to get in trouble for his heroism.

Did 30.77 miles of laps on the Roubaix Pro. The average was a little faster than yesterday, but not all that much. It was 14.8 mph. It wasn't as windy as it was yesterday.

Went to the cycling club board meeting this evening.

Am utterly exhausted. Am thankful that I made it home from the meeting safely.

2017/11/05 18:30 Sunday

The webcast was better today for most of the time, but there were still problems. At one time, the spinning wheel came on, and at other times the video became choppy and a few times the audio cut out. At times the audio kept going even during choppy video issues. Then, it got really bad when the pastor was talking about the church shooting in Texas and the prayer time that followed. The audio was off intermittently, being off almost the entire time, and the video was choppy just about the entire time. As usual, I was watching the second service. The problem was occurring on both the Linux box and the Windows 10 laptop.

I hope the guy who chased the church shooter and shot him doesn't get in trouble with the law for doing so. I'm afraid if he shot him after the immediate threat was over, he might. I don't know the law on such matters.

Did 30.83 miles of laps on the Roubaix Pro. It was very windy, and as usual, the wind was eddying so that I had a headwind just about the entire time. I suppose I could ride counter-clockwise instead of clockwise, but I prefer riding clockwise. Averaged only 14.3 mph. In addition to being slowed down by the wind, I wasn't pushing myself.

My sleep was restless last night, and I woke up early, even taking into account the time change. Was in bed only about 10 1/2 hours. Was surprised that I was able to ride, much less do 30+ miles.

Off to finish getting ready for bed. Too tired to read. Should have done that this morning.

2017/11/04 20:20 Saturday

Another non-stop day, but I made it through the work week, and now I am on vacation. Hoping the weather will allow for riding outdoors.

2017/11/03 20:30 Friday

Was on the go non-stop at work today. It was one thing after another. Skimmed the rgj site quickly after getting home, and skimmed my email for anything that might be urgent, but that was about it. Utterly exhausted again. One more work day, and I will be off work for ten days.

2017/11/02 21:00 Thursday

Another day of not reading email or much news. Read some news on a break at work, but not much. Utterly exhausted again. So tired that my brain is not functioning well.

2017/11/01 20:30 Wednesday

Utterly exhausted. My head is spinning, I'm so tired. Can't even read all my email or the news.