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My purpose is to live for Christ alone.

13bForgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
- Philippians 3:13b-14 (NIV)

For beautiful the prize, and great our hope.

2017/03/25 20:30 Saturday

Made it through the work week. Am hoping to be able to ride the new bike after the church service webcast tomorrow. Depends on how tired I am then.

2017/03/24 21:05 Friday

Need I make note of the exhaustion again? Groan. At least there is just one more work day in my week, and then there will be four days off.

2017/03/23 21:00 Thursday

I don't know how I've survived this long with the exhaustion. I don't know how much longer I will be able to survive with it.

Had some good news at work today. A guy I like working with, but who has been on the opposite side of the week from me since we went to 12-hour days, will be changing his schedule so that he will be working some days on both sides of the week.

2017/03/22 21:05 Wednesday

Am about to drop from exhaustion. I need to do something about the number of spam emails I get. It takes too much time to delete them.

2017/03/21 16:05 Tuesday

Another thing about the possibility that my uncle and the pastor's father were partners: The pastor said in the sermon that the company supplied fluids for oil production, and the trucks I saw at the company were very large tankers. It is unnerving, to say the least, that the pastor and I might have been destined to meet, one way or another. We didn't meet in Texas, but we met after first I, and then the pastor, moved to Reno. I am thankful that God did call me to his church, at least in the past, as I'm not sure any other pastor would have had the patience and the insight into the Bible to be able to lead me to Christ. I had been trying to run from God, but I knew from the first moment I set foot in the pastor's church that God was serious about having me commit my life to Him. Even so, I was slow to make a commitment, and I am thankful for the pastor's patience and insight.

Did a trainer ride because of the weather. Did 20 miles at an average speed of 20.5 mph. Had the resistance unit a little tighter this time. The average cadence was 73 rpm.

Almost forgot to pay bills this month. Thankfully, I got an email from NV Energy this morning saying my bill was ready. Am glad it was on a day off, which gave me time to pay the bills. After paying bills, I went to Costco, and then I went to my friend Dan's to take care of his cat. He took a road trip, and will be gone for a month. He has been gone about a week now. I go by every day to take care of the cat.

Due to all that, I have been busy all day. Haven't had a chance to have rest and relaxation at all. There is a cycling club general membership meeting this evening, too. At least the ride time was prayer time, which helps some.

Read Jeremiah 34-35.

2017/03/20 18:15 Monday

The pastor said something else in the sermon yesterday that came to mind after I went to bed last night. He mentioned that his father had gone into an oil-related business with a partner, which I already knew. I have suspected for a long time that the partner was my uncle. One summer when I was in college, I stayed for a while with my uncle in Dallas. One day, we drove to a small town outside of the city so he could show me the company in which he was a partner. We were supposed to have dinner with the partner's family, and my uncle had told me there was a son about my age whom I would be meeting. I did meet the partner, but the dinner plans fell through, so I didn't meet the son. The son could well have been the pastor. One reason why I think that is because my uncle told me that the partner and his son had gotten into a fistfight at a drilling site one time, and the pastor told me that he and his father had gotten into a fistfight at a drilling site one time. Also, the name of the company, which I don't recall, was a play on the fact that both partners' last names started with a "T." Maybe coincidence, maybe not. I haven't confirmed with my uncle the name of his former partner, as my uncle and I haven't had any contact for well over 15 years.

Took the truck to Costco this morning to have the tires rotated. Rode home, did a workout, and then rode back. The mileage to and from Costco was 4.61 miles. The workout was 20.14 miles at an average speed of only 13.7 miles. Rode the Sirrus. Was too tired to want to risk riding the new bike. Probably a good thing... Had a couple of close calls. Once, when I stopped at a stop sign, I almost fell over to the left as I was putting my right foot down. Also, once when I was making a right turn, I almost fell because I turned too far. Did ride clipped in most of the time, though, despite being tired. There wasn't any wind to speak of while I was doing the workout. It was 4 mph with gusts of 4 mph. However, just as I was finishing, the wind came up and was reported as 21 mph with gusts of 31 mph. Had to face that when I was riding back to Costco, but didn't have far to ride to get there.

Forgot to mention yesterday evening that I had read Jeremiah 32. Today, I have read Jeremiah 33 and part of Chapter 34. Too tired to finish 34.

2017/03/19 19:10 Sunday

The pastor said in the service today that the people in the church were there not by accident, but by appointment. There is no doubt in my mind that God led me to that church many years ago. Much has transpired since then, though. That was then; this is now.

Did 20.16 miles of laps around the lake on the Sirrus. Don't really want to ride my new bike when I am tired, as I am concerned about the possibility of crashing. Averaged only 12.3 mph. At about two miles into the ride, I realized that I probably should have ridden the trainer instead of riding on the road. Was quite tired. My goal was 20 miles, though, so I didn't want to stop. Decided to keep going, but to take it slow and easy. Then, during the last several miles, the wind came up. I looked at the accuweather app after the ride, and saw that the wind was being recorded at 22 mph with gusts of 29 mph at that time.

2017/03/18 20:45 Saturday

Made it through the work week. The exhaustion is affecting my ability to function. It is hard to remember things I should be able to remember.

Read Jeremiah 31.

2017/03/17 21:00 Friday

Two work days down, one to go.

2017/03/16 20:50 Thursday

Just keep getting more and more exhausted. This is no way to live.

2017/03/15 19:50 Wednesday

The Ides of March...

Have been exhausted all day. My sleep was restless off and on last night. Did laundry this morning, two loads of pants and two loads of dark clothes. Will have to do two loads of cycling gear before long, and also a load of light colors. I hate laundry. After doing the laundry, I went to Costco. By the time I got back, it was about one o'clock. Was so tired that I had to lay down to rest for an hour. Then I forced myself to do a trainer ride. Did a one-hour interval workout. The mileage was 25.69 miles. Had more energy for a while after that, but am about to pass out from exhaustion now.

Read Jeremiah 30.

2017/03/14 18:05 Tuesday

Am about to drop from exhaustion. Glad I don't have to work tomorrow.

Did 20.09 miles of laps around the lake at an average speed of 14.1 mph. Am getting more comfortable with being clipped in. After that ride, I rode to the bike shop. That round-trip was 4.52 miles.

Finished reading Jeremiah 29. Need to take vv. 11-13 to heart. As to v. 14, and the thought of my possibly returning to where I am in exile from, I will not be going back to that church, or going to any church, for that matter. It just wouldn't work out.

2017/03/13 18:35 Monday

Had great news at the ortho's office today. The MRI did not show any fractures, tendon problems, or any other issues that would require surgery. That is an answered prayer. I asked her if she thought any problems might arise in the future, and she said there was no indication they would.

While waiting for the doctor, I read part of Jeremiah 29. I didn't finish it. I stopped after verse 14. Want to give prayerful contemplation to vv. 11-14.

Did a ride on the road today. The weather was very enjoyable. Did 20.08 miles of laps around the lake. Had three goals: Do 20 miles, make progress on getting comfortable again being clipped in with both feet, and not to crash. Met all three goals. Barely met the first, though. Stopped for a restroom break at about 13 miles, and realized I was exhausted. Thought about stopping at 15 miles, but decided to take it slow and easy and see if I could finish 20. Averaged 13.3 mph.

2017/03/12 20:30 Sunday

The pastor's comments about the impact of words struck chords in my soul. The damage done to my psyche in my childhood cannot be undone. Also, my words to the pastor many years ago brought about a fire because I bcc'd others. I'm thankful the damage wasn't worse. I was obviously not in my right mind, but that didn't stop the fire.

Matthew 5:23-24: I would say that the pastor and I have something against each other in a biblical sense. However, I will never go to him, and I cannot imagine that he would ever come to me. I wouldn't want him to, anyway. Let sleeping dogs lie, I say, especially since so many years have passed. Interacting with him would just rip off scar tissue.

Was too tired to ride today, even on the trainer. After the webcast, I went back to bed for about an hour and 45 minutes. Couldn't sleep, though. Just laid there in a fog. After that, I tried to muster up the energy to ride the trainer, but couldn't. Had a cup of coffee and read some chapters of a novel. Then had dinner with my friend Dan. His birthday was last Friday, so I took him out to dinner to celebrate.

Read Jeremiah 28.

2017/03/11 21:10 Saturday

Somehow made it through the work day and the drive home. Prayer helps.

2017/03/10 21:15 Friday

One more work day, and then I will have four days off. The weather forecast is looking good. Hopefully I will feel up to riding outdoors.

I've mentioned that my time off from work flies by. Actually, my time at work flies by also. I am always very busy, and that helps make the time pass quickly.

Too tired to read tonight. At least I mustered up the energy to shower.

2017/03/09 20:20 Thursday

Should shower tonight, but can't. Am about to collapse from exhaustion.

2017/03/08 21:10 Wednesday

Too tired to function now. Read Jeremiah 26 and 27.

2017/03/07 18:05 Tuesday

Time off from work flies by.

Am exhausted beyond measure. Got up early for the blood draw. Rode to Costco with the trailer. That round-trip was 4.82 miles. Rode to the bike shop to have lunch with Amy. That round-trip was 4.42 miles. Was too tired after that to ride on the trainer, much less on the road. Was too tired to do laundry, too.

Read Jeremiah 25.

2017/03/06 20:40 Monday

Am utterly exhausted. Will be getting to bed late because there was a cycling club board meeting this evening.

Did 21.18 miles of laps around the lake. Averaged only 12.9 mph. Rode a hybrid instead of the new road bike, as I wanted to get used to riding clipped in again, and didn't want to risk crashing on the new bike. Rode clipped in a good part of the time, but by the last few miles, I was so tired that I wasn't dropping my heel like I should, so I wasn't unclipping very well. Rode the last two miles or so unclipped. The average temperature was 42.5, which wasn't too bad, given that I was dressed for it.

Have to be up early in the morning to go get blood drawn for some tests. Will need to go to Costco, too. Should do laundry, but probably won't have time.

Read Jeremiah 24.

2017/03/05 17:10 Sunday

There was a break in the weather after the church service webcast, and I wanted to ride outdoors on either the mountain bike or the fat bike, but decided against it because of the fatigue. Did a trainer ride instead. Did 20 miles at an average speed of 25.2 mph and an average cadence of 71 rpm.

Read Jeremiah 23.

Off to finish getting ready for bed. Will be in bed by 5:30pm.

2017/03/04 20:50 Saturday

Have been utterly exhausted all day. Was feeling a little better for a while, but have taken a turn for the worse lately.

2017/03/03 20:25 Friday

Made it through another work day. One more to go. Again today, I've been exhausted all day. Should shower tonight, but am just too tired.

2017/03/02 20:20 Thursday

Made it through the work day. One down, two to go. Have been exhausted all day.

2017/03/01 19:10 Wednesday

Was too tired again today to ride outdoors. Did a 20-mile ride on the trainer. The resistance unit didn't squeak, but it was a little too easy to pedal. One of these days, I'm going to go to an auto parts store and find something I read about that is supposed to stop belts from squeaking. It is supposed to keep tires from squeaking on trainers. Anyway, I averaged 26.3 mph and 74 rpm.

I read a headline a while ago that said a married couple divorced because one of them voted for Trump. Myself, I would definitely consider that grounds for divorce, due to irreconcilable differences.

Back to work tomorrow. My weekends fly by. Of course, given that I sleep about 12 hours a night on my days off, the days are short.

Read Jeremiah 22.

2017/02/28 18:30 Tuesday

Today is my Christian birthday. Eighteen years ago, my pastor led me in a dedication of my life to Christ. It doesn't seem like that long ago. It is worlds apart, though.

Have had a rough day. My health has taken a turn for the worse again.

Wanted to ride outdoors this morning, but was too tired. Planned on 20 miles on the trainer, but was barely able to get to 15. Had the resistance unit a little too tight again; it started sqeaking after a few miles. Averaged 17.2 mph and 74 rpm.

Got the haircut. Went to a different cutter this time. I like the job he did. Didn't go to the bike shop today. Will do that tomorrow.

Got the MRI. Thought it would never be over. It took about 30 minutes in the magnet. Remembered about ten minutes in that I hadn't thought to take off my ring. Thankfully, the MRI tech told me when it was finally finished that it was okay that I hadn't taken off the ring.

Read Jeremiah 21.

2017/02/27 19:50 Monday

Rode to the bank and then pulled the trailer to Costco. Wanted to do a workout on the road after that, but was having equilibrium problems on the way back from Costco, so I rode the trainer instead. The distance for the two errands was 7.31 miles. Did 20 miles on the trainer at an average speed of 24.3 mph and an average cadence of 74 rpm. Had the resistance unit a little looser than yesterday. It didn't squeak, but it was too easy to pedal. I rode in the highest gear. The unit is hard to get just right. Moving it just a smidgen makes a big difference. It is a very basic trainer.

Busy day on tap for tomorrow: a ride, a haircut, a stop at the bike shop, and an MRI on my elbow.

Read Jeremiah 19 and 20.

2017/02/26 19:35 Sunday

Was too tired to ride outdoors safely. Did 20 miles on the trainer. Averaged only 16.8 mph, but my average cadence was 73 rpm. Had the resistance unit tighter against the wheel than I have been setting it of late. I didn't mind the slower average speed due to that, but unfortunately, the unit being tighter against the wheel resulted in squeaking after a few miles.

Read Jeremiah 17 again, and also read Chapter 18.

2017/02/25 21:00 Saturday

Made it through the work week.

Didn't expect it to snow today, but I wore hiking boots anyway. I like wearing boots. It was good that I did wear them, as I had to do a ride-along in a truck around the warehouse lot. I was checking out the wifi signal strength. There was a lot of snow on the ground when I was walking to and from the truck.

2017/02/24 20:50 Friday

Had something funny happen to me at work today. There I was, in my office, working and minding my own business, when the security manager and the HR manager appeared outside my door. Those are the two who would show up if I were being fired. I looked at them and said, "This doesn't look good!" They laughed, and then told me why they were there, which was because they had done an audit on a department and someone had told them that it wasn't possible to update a log file at the dock door where she works. I told them it was, and that I would show her how. I wasn't really worried when they showed up, though, because the security manager greeted me, as usual, with a big smile and a big "hi." In fact, I was grinning when I said it didn't look good. I was sure he wouldn't have greeted me that way if I were being fired.

2017/02/23 20:45 Thursday

Just can't get caught up at work...

Am hoping for good weather over my weekend. The latest forecast is looking fairly good. Much colder than I would like, but I have enough cold-weather cycling gear to stay warm. Am hoping I won't be too tired to ride outdoors.

2017/02/22 20:55 Wednesday

Another day of being swamped at work.

The drive to work wasn't all that bad, although there was a lot of traffic. I did see, in my rearview mirror, a pickup truck that was going too fast slide out across three lanes and end up going the wrong way. He, or she, was lucky there wasn't any traffic in the other lanes at that point. And I am lucky I was still in front of him, or her.

2017/02/21 17:35 Tuesday

Back to work tomorrow. I am very concerned about how the road conditions will be in the morning when I will be driving to work during the timeframe of about 5:10am to 5:35am. The rain and melted snow will likely have frozen on the roads.

There was supposed to be a cycling club general membership meeting this evening, but it was cancelled due to hazardous road conditions.

Did 20 miles on the trainer. Kept the RPM at about 75-80. Averaged 23.8 mph.

I read that there was a major avalanche blocking the Mt. Rose Highway near the Galena Creek Visitors' Center. Back when I was snowshoeing, I used to do so at Galena Creek Park a lot. I didn't realize that area could have avalanche danger.

Read Jeremiah 16 and 17. Will reread Chapter 17, as it has some passages that impact me especially strongly.

2017/02/20 17:00 Monday

Paid bills today. Am thankful that I have the money to pay bills.

After paying bills, I did laundry. By the time I was done with that, at around 12:30pm, I was utterly exhausted. Have been taking a supplement called "ashwagandha" for the adrenal fatigue, and I think that I may have been taking too much. Will try cutting down on it.

Despite being exhausted, I did 20 miles on the trainer. Had the resistance unit a little tighter and used an easier gear. Kept the RPM at about 75. Want to get used to pedaling at that cadence or even faster. The average speed was 21.1 mph.

Read Jeremiah 14 and 15.

It is only 5pm, but I'm so tired I'm planning on being in bed in about 20 minutes.

2017/02/19 18:40 Sunday

Was too tired and was having too many balance issues today to ride on the road, much to my dismay. Did 20 miles on the trainer at an average speed of 23.3 mph. Was riding at a cadence of 70 rpm or so most of the time. That is down from the 75 rpm or so that I've been riding at lately. Wasn't up to pedaling faster.

Read Jeremiah 12 and 13.

2017/02/18 20:10 Saturday

Made it through the work day, barely. By 2pm, I didn't see how I would make it until 6pm and then be able to drive home. Am so exhausted now that I can barely see straight.

2017/02/17 18:15 Friday

Didn't get much done today. Had trouble dragging myself out of bed this morning, and have been exhausted all day. Did do 20 miles on the trainer at an average speed of 24.5 mph. Given the ease of pedaling, it appears that I had the resistance unit not quite tight enough against the tire. I like having it fairly loose, as when it is tighter, there is a squeaking noise created by the interaction of the unit and the tire.

The orthopedist is talking about the possibility of surgery. She poked and prodded an area near my elbow again, and the pain was very intense. I'll be going in for an MRI, and then for a follow-up with her. It is my right elbow, and I am right-handed, so I'm hoping very much that surgery won't be warranted. She thinks there might be a fracture.

Read Jeremiah 11.

2017/02/16 20:05 Thursday

Made it through the work day. Was swamped again all day. Will be off work tomorrow because of the doctor's appointment. Have a lot to do tomorrow.

Too tired to read tonight. Was too tired last night, too.

2017/02/15 20:00 Wednesday

Was swamped all day at work today, and tomorrow will be worse, as I will be the only one working in IT. Am exhausted.

2017/02/14 18:15 Tuesday

Had trouble sleeping last night. It took a long time before I fell asleep, and then I was restless the whole night.

Paid my podiatrist's bill today. Every time I pay a bill, I am thankful that I have the money to pay bills.

Rode to Costco this morning. The round-trip was 4.84 miles. Had planned to do a ~20 mile ride on the road after that, but got very tired before I headed out. Felt too tired even to ride the trainer, but went ahead and did it anyway. Had more energy after doing that. Did 20 miles at an average speed of 22.6 mph.

Read Jeremiah 10.

2017/02/13 19:20 Monday

Rode the new bike today. Did 20.25 miles of laps around the park. Averaged only 13.7 mph.

Read Jeremiah 9.

2017/02/12 17:35 Sunday

Something strange is happening. Recently, I was awakened at about one o'clock in the morning by loud knocking on a door that I think was the next-door neighbors'. I then heard footsteps going down the stairs. Then, this morning at about 12:45am, I again heard loud knocking, again next door, as far as I could tell. This time, I got out of bed to look out the peep-hole in my door. I wear a T-shirt and shorts to bed, but I wanted to put on a robe before going to the door. I did that and put on glasses, which took quite a short time. When I got to the door, I didn't see anything. I kept looking for a time, and then saw two police cars pass by. It all took place in such a short amount of time that it seems almost as though the police had knocked but not waited for a response. One would think that if the police wanted someone to answer a door in the middle of the night, they would wait quite a while for the person to wake up, get out of bed, and get at least somewhat presentable before opening the door.

Maybe it wasn't next door. Maybe they were knocking on my door, although it didn't really sound like that. Maybe the arresting officer in my previous legal troubles works the graveyard shift now, and maybe I am in legal trouble again. I can't imagine that being the case, but I was blind-sided before and could be again. I often give thanks that my legal troubles are over, and pray that I will never be in legal trouble again. I am praying that even more fervently now, even though I can't imagine that simply watching church service webcasts would be grounds for legal trouble.

Have been utterly exhausted all day, in part because I had trouble getting back to sleep after being awakened by the knocking. Had planned on riding the new bike today, but was much too tired to ride safely outdoors. Did 20 miles on the trainer, though, at an average speed of 22.4 mph. A few times, I felt so tired that I had to close my eyes briefly.

Started reading the Bible again, picking up where I left off. Read Jeremiah 8.

2017/02/11 20:05 Saturday

Made it through the work week, barely. Am exhuasted beyond measure.

2017/02/10 20:30 Friday

Forgot to post last night, and almost forgot again tonight. Have been so tired it is hard to remember everything. One more work day, and then I will have three off. Will be working Wednesday, Thursday, and Saturday next week. Will be taking Friday off because I have an orthopedist appointment that morning regarding the elbow that was injured when I got hit by the car.

2017/02/08 21:25 Wednesday

Was swamped all day at work. Am exhausted beyond measure.

2017/02/07 17:30 Tuesday

Put on some rain gear and rode outdoors today. Got drizzled on some, and it was breezy, but overall it wasn't bad. Did 20.15 miles. Averaged only 12.3 mph. Am still riding with my right foot unclipped. Need to overcome the anxiety about being clipped in.

Am very exhausted. Need to get to bed asap.

Back to work tomorrow.

2017/02/06 20:40 Monday

Did 20 miles on the trainer. Increased the cadence to about 75 rpm. Averaged 24.8 mph. Rode in the morning. If I had waited until afternoon, I could have ridden outdoors. The weather forecast led me to believe that I wouldn't be able to, but the wind turned out to be not as bad as it was in the morning.

Had a cycling club board meeting this evening. Will be getting to bed later than I would like because of that. Am utterly exhausted.

2017/02/05 18:30 Sunday

Wasn't able to ride the new bike today. As I was watching the church service, I could see the wind coming up by the way the trees were being blown around. I could also hear it whistling in the eaves. By the time the service was over, accuweather was reporting the speed at 28 mph with gusts to 38 mph. They had been predicting a speed of 5 mph with gusts up to 10 mph. Oh, well. Was having balance problems, so it wouldn't have been a good idea to ride on the road anyway.

Did 20 miles on the trainer. Averaged 20.9 mph. I had not set the resistance unit as tight against the wheel as usual, which made it easier to pedal. I am working on increasing the cadence of my pedal strokes. I have been pedaling at about 60 rpm, but a low cadence like that is harder on the muscular system. Today, I was pedaling at about 70 rpm. I plan to increase that, as it is recommended that cadence be at least 90 rpm. It will take time to get used to pedaling faster.

My trainer setup is next to a window that overlooks part of the parking lot. As I was getting ready to get on the trainer, I saw my next-door neighbor get in her car and drive away. I was glad about that, as the trainer makes noise. I worry that the noise might disturb her, so I am always glad when she is not home while I am riding the trainer. The downstairs neighbor has commented about the noise, although she says it doesn't bother her. The first time she heard it, she thought it was a small truck idling in the parking lot, but she was confused because she didn't see a vehicle idling in the lot.

2017/02/04 20:25 Saturday

Made it through the work week. Am utterly exhausted.

The weather forecast is looking good for riding tomorrow. Am looking forward to getting in another ride on my new bike. Looks like I'll be on the trainer Monday and Tuesday, due to rain. I have rain gear, and a couple of bikes with fenders, but I doubt if I'll be motivated to ride in the rain.

2017/02/03 21:00 Friday

One more work day down, one to go.

2017/02/02 20:55 Thursday

Frustrating day at work. Two more days to go before my weekend. It will be a three-day weekend this week.

2017/02/01 20:00 Wednesday

Took the truck to Costco to have the tires checked this morning. There was an outside chance that one might have a leak, and I wanted to play it safe. Took a bike with me and rode home, and then rode back to pick it up. That round-trip was 4.61 miles. Did laps around the park on my new bike after that. Did only 15.82 miles at an average speed of only 13.3 mph. Was tired, and short on time. I stopped for a bit, too, to chat with the guy who owns the horses that are pastured by the park. The new bike is awesome.