|13bForgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.|
|- Philippians 3:13b-14 (NIV)|
2017/01/17 20:50 Tuesday
Did 15 miles on the trainer at an average speed of 17.2 mph.
Went to a cycling club meeting this evening.
It is way past my bedtime for a day off. Am about to pass out from exhaustion.
2017/01/16 20:05 Monday
Did ten miles on the trainer. Picked up the pace. Averaged 17.3 mph.
Should have been in bed two hours ago, but I went to dinner with Amy. Then, when I got home, I took my supplements. I need to wait a while after taking them before going to bed so they don't get stuck in my esophagus. It seems to take a while for them to reach my stomach. If I go to bed too soon, I feel pain down low in my chest.
2017/01/15 18:45 Sunday
Did an easy ten miles on the trainer. Averaged 16.2 mph. Felt too tired to ride, but forced myself to do it. Felt a little better afterward.
It is late. Need to get to bed.
2017/01/14 16:15 Saturday
Had a lot of trouble dragging myself out of bed this morning. I hit snooze for about an hour and a half. Made it to the event in time, though. I had planned to shower this morning, but didn't have time.
On the way home, I dropped by the bike shop. I ordered a new bike a while ago, and it is in. I wanted to look at it, but I didn't pick it up. A fellow board member of the cycling club is going to take it for a ride before I pick it up, and he won't be doing that until the snow is off the side of the roads. I left it at the shop so that they can put on his pedals for him. He rides a different type of clipless pedals than I do.
Am exhausted. It is only 4:15pm, but I'm going to finish getting ready for bed and hit the sack anyway.
2017/01/13 21:00 Friday
There wasn't any problem driving to work today. The roads were dry.
Was on the go all day long. For one thing, my new boss kept sending me emails asking for information. Didn't get everything done that I would have liked. Had to turn over some things to the night shift, but that was okay. Working alone on a weekday is a challenge.
Tomorrow is the KTMB Christmas Tree Recycling event with the Green Team. It will be cold. Our shift is from 9am - 1pm.
Am so tired I am woozy.
2017/01/12 20:35 Thursday
One more work day and then I will be off for six days. Am worried about the drive to work tomorrow. It is a 15-mile or so drive. The freeway was wet when I was driving home this evening, and I am concerned that the water on the road will freeze overnight. The freeway could be an ice rink at 5am.
2017/01/11 20:50 Wednesday
Because one person from my shift at work is on vacation and my boss was let go yesterday, I was the only person in IT today. I will be the only person for the next two days, also. Made it through the day. It wasn't overwhelming, but I was busy all day.
The roads weren't too bad when I was driving to work this morning at about 5:15am, but I was talking to someone else who drove in later, and he said he saw a lot of cars that had spun out. Am not looking forward to tomorrow's drive to and from work.
2017/01/10 20:25 Tuesday
My boss was let go today due to downsizing. Our new boss is a guy based in Buena Park.
2017/01/09 17:25 Monday
The ortho doctor gave me a steroid shot in my elbow this morning. She told me that it might temporarily affect the use of my hand. It did. The hand doesn't work right, but it is getting better.
2017/01/08 17:10 Sunday
Woke up at about 3:45am and couldn't get back to sleep. Did laundry before the church service webcast. Wasn't sure what to make about a couple of things in the sermon. After the webcast, I cleaned the bathroom. Then I did a slow-paced ten miles on the trainer. Averaged 16 mph.
2017/01/07 20:20 Saturday
Today wasn't as bad at work as yesterday. Was swamped in the morning, but then the pace slowed down. It was good that it slowed down, because I was bushed.
Have a busy two days coming up. Orthopedist's appointment, grocery shopping, laundry, and housecleaning, not to mention the church service webcast. Wish I could just relax instead of doing errands and chores.
2017/01/06 20:20 Friday
I was the only one working in IT today, and will be the only one again tomorrow. Was swamped all day today. Tomorrow will likely be more of the same. Then I will have just two days off, as I will be working Tuesday - Friday next week so that I can have Saturday off for the KTMB Christmas Tree Recycling event with the Green Team at work. I will have five days off the week after because of that.
2017/01/05 18:05 Thursday
Did today's slow-paced trainer ride of ten miles at an average speed of 16 mph.
Amy responded to my text asking what the book is by saying it is a Christian-based book she thinks I will enjoy. I then responded by asking who is the author and what is the title. She didn't respond. She called me today about a bike-related issue, and I asked her what the book is. She said it is a surprise. I told her I didn't like surprises. She still wouldn't tell me. I texted her the following just now: "By the way, I won't read the book if it is by a female author. I don't fit the mold of a female, Christian or otherwise. Never have, never will, never will want to. That is why I will never attend church again, among other things. It would just make me even more bitter about being female. Good night; I'm going to bed now." I'm sure it is by a female and that Amy is trying to "fix" me. I do not take well to that. It just makes me more and more bitter about being female, and reinforces my desire for absolute and eternal oblivion.
2017/01/04 17:55 Wednesday
Did a slow-paced ten miles on the trainer again. Averaged 15.8 mph.
Went to the nutritionist today. She irritated me, probably in part because I have a low tolerance for dealing with females. Bought some supplements that will hopefully be helpful. Time will tell.
Amy texted me this evening letting me know she had bought a book for both of us that she thinks both of us might enjoy. She also wrote that maybe we could have lunch on Saturday. She doesn't seem to be able to comprehend that I work on Saturdays. My work schedule isn't all that complicated, but she keeps wanting to have lunch on my work days. I texted her back letting her know (again) that I work on Saturdays. I also asked what the book is. She hasn't responded. Knowing her, it is probably some book that she thinks will change my loathing of being female. If it is, I will very likely break off contact with her, including being a customer at the bike shop.
2017/01/03 17:55 Tuesday
Did another slow-paced ten miles on the trainer. Picked up the pace a little today. Averaged 16.7 mph. Felt good for a while after that, but then started feeling more tired again for a while. Should probably force myself to take it easier.
2017/01/02 17:25 Monday
Did a slow-paced ten miles on the trainer yesterday and again today. Yesterday I averaged 15.8 mph and today's average was 16 mph.
2017/01/01 17:05 Sunday
Happy New Year.
2016/12/31 20:50 Saturday
Made it through the workday. It was slow. Worked on the disaster recovery plan (aka the BCP) quite a bit of the time.
Am about to drop from exhaustion, seriously.
2016/12/30 20:30 Friday
By the time I got into bed last night, I was so exhausted that my head was spinning. When I laid down, it felt almost as though I were drunk, even though I don't drink. Am almost that exhausted now.
This morning, I went to the health food store and spoke with the nutritionist briefly. She gave me a couple of handouts to read in preparation for our appointment next Wednesday. Had a sandwich and then went to the Christmas tree recycling event. After that, I dropped by the bike shop for a few minutes to take care of a couple of things. Then I went to Costco. Now I need to finish getting ready for bed before I drop.
2016/12/29 20:15 Thursday
Busy day coming up tomorrow. No rest in store. Could use a lot of rest. Am exhausted, as usual. Will work Saturday, and after that will be off work until Friday. I will be the only one working in IT on Saturday, and also next week on Friday and Saturday. Hopefully it won't be too busy.
2016/12/28 20:10 Wednesday
Made an appointment today with the nutritionist. The soonest she could get me in was next Wednesday. However, she said she could spend a little time with me this Friday. I will be off work for my Christmas holiday day. I will also be taking part that afternoon in a KTMB Christmas tree recycling event with the cycling club at Rancho San Rafael.
Am so tired I am woozy and my head is spinning.
2016/12/27 18:15 Tuesday
Back to work tomorrow, much to my dismay.
Did a slow-paced ten miles on the trainer. Averaged only 15.2 mph. Even though I haven't been doing much in the way of workouts, it is possible that when I have been doing them, I have been overdoing it. My health is so bad that any exercise is a challenge.
2016/12/26 17:35 Monday
Amy texted me late yesterday afternoon, and asked me if I was wearing the sweatshirt she got me. I ignored the text yesterday, but this morning I texted her a thank-you for the bookstore gift certificate that she also got me. The text ignored the shirt, which was a set-up of sorts. She responded by asking if I liked the Christmas kitty shirt. I responded, "I hope you won't take offense, but since you asked... The shirt's design is for women. Remember that I've told you that I hate being reminded that I'm female? Wearing a women's shirt would be like rubbing salt on a wound." She texted me back saying no offense was taken, and offered to exchange the sweatshirt for something more neutral. She said it was less about women and more about cats. She just doesn't get it. If she did, she should have apologized for even getting me anything that would remind me that I am female. I replied that she could just return it, as I wouldn't wear anything that is women's clothing, even if it were more neutral. It is time to drift away from her. I don't need the bitterness that dealing with her causes me. I have told her more than once that I hate being reminded that I am female, but she keeps doing so.
2016/12/25 17:15 Sunday
More gifts I don't like or don't need. For example, Amy got me a holiday sweatshirt with a cat graphic on it. Cats are great, but the graphic and the sweatshirt are obviously for women. Not only do I not like it, but it makes me bitter. Shows that Amy is either clueless or thinks she can change me. As mentioned in a previous post, I told her that I loathe being female and don't want to be reminded that I am female. Some friend, not to respect that.
Have not been feeling well today, physically or psychologically. Physically, as a continuation of my health problems, and psychologically, because Christmas is a very depressing time for me. Despite the significance of the day, I hate Christmas.
2016/12/24 16:25 Saturday
Did a trainer ride yesterday. Had hoped to ride outdoors, but was concerned about the possibility of strong wind gusts. It was good that I didn't ride outdoors after all. Didn't realize how tired I was until I started pedaling on the trainer. Did a low-intensity interval ride. The distance was 16.54 miles. Was too tired to do a workout today, even on the trainer.
Am going to consult with a nutritionist at a health food store. Am thinking I may have adrenal fatigue. Will try supplements and diet modification. The nutritionist has been able to help the downstairs neighbor with her health problems. I'm at the end of my rope.
Tried to copy some photos to a DVD the other day. They were of the apartment complex Christmas party. Kept getting an error message about the drive. Am thinking it may have gone south when the power outage hit a while back. Doesn't really make sense, though, that the DVD drive would be fried when nothing else in the computer was. Anyway, I took the DVD drive out of the Linux box and put it in the Windows box. Don't think I'll ever need a DVD drive in the Linux box again, so I probably won't buy a replacement.
Off to finish getting ready for bed.
2016/12/23 17:45 Friday
The downstairs neighbor didn't ask me about the pajamas, thankfully. Still don't know what to do about them, though. On my days off, I often stay in my pajamas (t-shirt and sweats) and robe until mid-morning. Sometimes I end up going downstairs to the neighbor's that way. She would notice if I didn't have on the pajamas she bought me. Besides, I would like for her to return them and get her money back. Money is very tight for her.
Went to a party at the bike shop this afternoon. Was very tired. It was very scary driving home because I was so tired. Prayed I would make it home, and gave thanks when I did.
2016/12/22 18:55 Thursday
I really dislike getting gifts. I very seldom like what I have been given, and I don't like lying by saying I like things I don't like. Case in point: The downstairs neighbor gave me a lot of gifts made of polyester for Christmas. She gave me fuzzy polyester pajamas, fuzzy polyester socks, and polyester kitchen towels, among other things. I hate the feel of fuzzy polyester, and polyester kitchen towels are not absorbent. She was very excited about having given me the pajamas, especially. So what do I tell her tomorrow? Surely she will ask me how I liked sleeping in them.
Yesterday afternoon, I did a few sets of maneuvers intended to treat BPPV by getting crystals in my ears back in place. Wasn't staggering as bad today as I have been. Also, I was able to ride on the road. Did only 15.93 miles, at a very slow pace, but at least I rode outdoors. Started getting woozy at about 11 miles or so, though.
2016/12/21 16:45 Wednesday
Amy and Randy are having a party at their home this evening, but I'm too tired to go. Am off to finish getting ready for bed.
2016/12/20 18:25 Tuesday
Was hoping to be able to ride on the road today, but was too tired. Went back to bed for a while, but couldn't sleep. Did do a trainer ride. Did a low-intensity interval workout of one hour. Pedaled slowly in the recovery times, and didn't pick up the pace much during the interval times. The distance was only 16.19 miles.
Am fading fast. Need to get to bed ASAP.
2016/12/19 17:40 Monday
Wanted to be in bed earlier, but was texting one of my sisters. She is involved in what amounts to a flame war with a relative about Trump. The relative supports Trump, and my sister (and I) believe Trump is fundamentally unfit to be president. The relative is very patronizing, and I wrote that in a text to my sister. She is upset because she doesn't want to burn bridges with that side of the family, but she doesn't think she wants to spend Christmas with them because of their difference of opinion on Trump.
Anyway, am off to finish getting ready for bed.
2016/12/18 16:10 Sunday
In Greek, idios means private, personal, one's own, separate, distinct, strange, unusual, peculiar, appropriate.
There was a problem with the livestream of the webcast for much of the second service this morning. The audio was okay, but the video kept halting, and the signal dropped altogether many times. It finally cleared up after a while.
Went to Costco after the webcast. Don't like to shop on Sundays, but there were some things I needed. It was packed, but I was able to get done and out quickly. The lines weren't all that long, as they had a lot of checkout lanes open.
Am utterly exhausted. Off to get ready for bed, even though it is just a little after 4 o'clock.
2016/12/17 20:05 Saturday
Made it through the work day, and now I will be off work until the 28th. Finished a project with a due date of the 1st, which was good.
2016/12/16 20:30 Friday
Got home a little later than usual. The roads in Stead were icy, so I had put the truck in 4-wheel drive briefly. Then, since I had the hubs locked, I didn't go my normal 70 mph on the freeway. I'm not sure, but I think it is bad to go that fast with the hubs locked. Besides, traffic wasn't going that fast, as there was still a chance of hitting a patch of black ice.
Then, after getting home, I went to the apartment complex Christmas party for a little while. There were quite a number of people there when I first showed up, but before long most people left.
Am so exhausted my head is spinning.
One more work day and then I will be off work for ten days.
2016/12/15 21:00 Thursday
Life is just too painful.
2016/12/14 19:55 Wednesday
One work day down, three to go. Felt rotten at work today.
2016/12/13 19:00 Tuesday
Back to work tomorrow, but I'm still feeling very much under the weather. Did manage to get the Christmas cards that needed to be mailed done and mailed. Will do the ones for people at work tomorrow while at work. Also did laundry.
Would have liked to have been in bed hours ago.
2016/12/12 16:15 Monday
Perhaps comparing Trump to Hitler is a little bit extreme (although perhaps not). Comparing him to McCarthy would not be extreme, though. It wouldn't surprise me if he were to do something like pay my boss to fire me. Hopefully he won't bother to take revenge on the signers of the petition I mentioned signing. I'm a peon, and hopefully won't be worth his trouble to attack. I do sign a large number of anti-Trump petitions, though. I hope that doesn't put me on his radar.
Have been up for not quite eight hours, which is better than yesterday. Had some things that needed to be taken care of today. Tomorrow, I have to get my Christmas cards done. Have put that off too long as it is. Should do laundry also, but might not get that done.
Poor Hope kitty got traumatized today. There were workers on the roof making noise. I think they were cleaning leaves off of it. There is a kitchen cabinet that she hides out in when she is scared. A while back, I put a towel in it for her to lay on so she would be more comfortable.
Off to get ready for bed. Need rest, badly.
2016/12/11 18:40 Sunday
Have spent most of the day in bed. Dragged myself out of bed barely in time to watch the church service webcast, then when back to bed soon after it was over. Got up again about an hour ago to delete all the spam email from yesterday and today, and to skim the news. One of the emails that wasn't spam was a call to sign a petition to Trump and the Republican leadership letting them know that the signers would fight for the environment. I signed it with trepidation. The signers will probably end up on Trump's hit list. I imagine this is how people who opposed Hitler felt.
My eyes start burning badly every time I enter my living room. It isn't as bad in the other rooms, but it is still bad. I'm about 99.99% sure that someone smokes in the apartment next to mine. Will complain again tomorrow to the apartment management. Don't know how they would manage to catch the smoker, though.
Back to bed.
2016/12/11 12:15 Sunday
There was a power outage in my neighborhood last night that started before I got home from work. I didn't know where my flashlights were, and thought for a moment that I would have to use my iPhone flashlight for everything. That wouldn't have been good, as the battery was down to almost 50% of capacity. Then it occurred to me that I have two 700-lumen and two 750-lumen bicycle headlights. Used one of those to get ready for bed.
2016/12/09 20:25 Friday
Have taken a serious turn for the worse. In addition to chest irritation and a bad cough, I now have very bad sinus congestion. It got a lot worse when I got home, which also happened last night, along with very watery eyes. I think one of my next-door neighbors smokes in their apartment even though it is a non-smoking building. The management sent out a notice warning of eviction for anyone caught smoking within 30 feet of the buidling, but it seems they think they won't get caught. I can't prove they are smoking.
Got home late. There was a wreck at the Moana on/off ramp, which is my exit. Then I had to go to Walgreen's to get cold medicine.
About to drop. Too tired to read, as usual.
2016/12/08 21:30 Thursday
Was already in bed when I remembered that I hadn't posted. Got out of bed to write this, as I wouldn't want anyone to worry. Too tired to read again today.
2016/12/07 20:10 Wednesday
My sleep was very restless last night. Whatever is wrong with me hit me hard. I hardly got anything done at work today because I felt so awful. I don't want to call in sick, though, because I don't want to give up my overtime. I think the problem stems from dealing with cigarette smoke two nights in a row. First, the holiday party was in a casino banquet room, and of course the smoke from the casino filtered in. Then, at the board meeting, there was also cigarette smoke. The meetings are at a restaurant that has slot machines in the entryway, and the smoke drifts into the meeting room. I have congestion in my chest, an unproductive cough, and a massive headache. Took Tylenol earlier today, and Aleve tonight. Neither has been very helpful. I stopped by Walgreen's on the way home and got some expectorant. Hopefully that will help with the congestion and cough. Too tired to read.
2016/12/06 18:45 Tuesday
Feel as though I might be coming down with a cold. I haven't had a cold in years. Forgot to read again today until it was too late to focus. Have to work tomorrow. Should have been in bed already, but got into the shower later than I wanted.
2016/12/05 20:20 Monday
Had a cycling club board meeting this evening. Ran errands on a bike earlier today. Strung up one strand of Christmas lights on my balcony. Have two more to string. Forgot to read earlier today, and am too tired now.
2016/12/04 21:30 Sunday
It was really scary driving to and from the airport last night, as I was too tired to function.
Really like the imagery of Jesus riding on the wind. I also really like the imagery of the wind of the Holy Spirit blowing in us. I like wind imagery, even though I'm not fond of the physical wind because it makes it hard to ride. I did really like the hot, dry winds in the Southern California desert where I grew up, though.
There is a soft spot in my heart for my cat. When it comes to people, though, my heart is closed off. When I try to let down my defenses, I am overwhelmed by pain. The same holds true for my relationship with God.
Went back to bed after the church service webcast. Made it through the cycling club party and the drive home. Almost got hit going through an intersection, as a moron didn't maintain his lane and came all the way over into my lane.
Didn't make the time to read today. Was too tired to focus anyway.
2016/12/03 19:30 Saturday
Made it through the work week and the drive home, somehow. I'm going to go to bed for three or so hours, and then get up and drive to the airport to pick up the downstairs neighbor. Too tired to read.
2016/12/02 20:35 Friday
Got home later than usual again tonight. There was a wreck on the freeway that had traffic backed up for miles. I was headed southbound on the 395, coming home from Stead. There were wrecks both southbound and northbound at the same place. Don't know if a vehicle went over the divider as part of a crash, or if someone going southbound was looking at the northbound crash, which looked worse than the southbound, and crashed because they weren't paying attention to their driving. Then, a mile or so after getting past that crash and thinking it was smooth sailing the rest of the way, I passed another crash.
Too tired to read yet again.
2016/12/01 21:25 Thursday
Almost forgot to post. Am so tired I'm shaky and my brain feels strange. Had to work 30 minutes late tonight. Then, when I got home and checked the mailbox, two pieces of mail belonging to someone in apartment K10 were in my mailbox. I live in F10. I had to figure out where building K was. Way too tired to read. Off to finish getting ready for bed.