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My purpose is to live for Christ alone.

13bForgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
- Philippians 3:13b-14 (NIV)

For beautiful the prize, and great our hope.

2016/09/26 18:15 Monday

Last night, as I lay in bed waiting to fall asleep, I prayed about whether or not I should contact the pastor. The thought came to mind, "When in doubt, don't." I don't know if that was a word from God, but I am going to follow it regardless.

Yesterday, during the sermon, I had thought perhaps I should write herein, "Please, and thank you," and see if the pastor were to contact me in response. That thought came to me again this morning as I was laying in bed trying to muster the energy to get up. I prayed about it, but didn't come to any conclusion. I also prayed that God would let my will be aligned with His, and that He would guide me.

Definite parallels may be drawn between the pastor's Jonah outlines and the storm we went through after I ran from the church. Also, his application statements could be said to be relevant to my current situation. Perhaps he is preaching in part to me, or perhaps he is just taking inspiration from the storm. Or, perhaps neither holds.

Rode 10.58 miles of laps around the park. I had a neck massage and a chiropractic adjustment today, and I told the chiropractor that I had hoped to ride on the road this afternoon but that given how tight my neck muscles were, I didn't think it was a good idea. He encouraged me to go ahead and ride, though, and see how it went. He said he didn't want atrophy to set in and undo the treatment he has been giving. He said to do about 20% of what I would normally do. I decided to do more, though, as 20% would be only about three miles. With my health issues, I was down to about 15 miles before being hit. After the ride, I iced my neck, and also iced it this evening.

Listened to Pastor Matt's sermon from yesterday. It was a blessing. I am thankful to be able to listen to sermons from two solid preachers.

Read an article on about a local church. One person was quoted as saying the service was like a rock concert, and it seemed that he thought that was a good thing. I went to that church once, and didn't go back. The service was theatrical. To me, the church seemed to be more interested in entertaining people than leading them to grow in their relationship with God.

Am at Isaiah 23.

2016/09/25 17:30 Sunday

It occurred to me as I was trying to fall asleep last night that Pastor Matt made a distinction between feelings and agape love. He noted that feelings are fickle, while agape love is a self-sacrificing love. I would think, though, that agape would have to have some component of feelings, or it would not be love at all. One might be self-sacrificing regarding that which does not involve interpersonal relationships, such as when I don't take my breaks at work because I am too busy. Also, one might be self-sacrificing for the sake of a person whom one doesn't even like, such as when I do things for the downstairs neighbor. Perhaps it goes without saying, though, that feelings need to be a component of agape.

The app word of the day is "albatross." The first definition listed is, "a seemingly inescapable moral or emotional burden, as of guilt or responsibility."

It was good to see that the pastor's pacemaker procedure was successful. As to the sermon, it added to my albatross of emotional burden. I will listen to the sermon again, though, as I'm not sure about the intent of some statements and would like to hear them again. It was a profound statement that Jonah was still running when he told the sailors to toss him overboard instead of turning the ship around and going to Ninevah. Perhaps I am still running, and perhaps I need to wake up, to be found out by my own hand, to become a sacrifice, and to commit to God's will along with others. Perhaps that would mean that I need to contact the pastor and ask to return to the church, regardless of the risk involved. Perhaps not, though. I myself do not know God's will in the matter, and in part because of that, I cannot see contacting the pastor, even though I have to wonder if he is trying to lead me to do so. What is done is done. I don't even want to go back to church, not any church. Perhaps I am too much like Jonah.

If the pastor is indeed trying to lead me to contact him, I don't see why he doesn't just contact me himself.

Didn't ride today, not even on the trainer. Was too tired, in part due to the albatross.

Read Isaiah 20. It was a short chapter, but I'm too tired to read more. Need to collapse into bed.

2016/09/24 17:00 Saturday

My soul is in deep pain. Mike Stewart and some people from his church were at the same site of the River Cleanup that my group was at. I didn't know if he recognized me, but I went up to him and introduced myself. I told him I was on medication and no longer had problems. He told me he was glad I was doing better and wished me well, and I told him I wished him well also. It was somewhat uncomfortable, though. For the most part, I worked in a different area from him and his group. I didn't have a panic attack as I would have expected. However, there was a delayed reaction. After the event was over, I went rather numb. Then, after getting home, I decided to listen to Pastor Matt's sermon from last week in the hope that it would make me feel better. Unfortunately, that made me even more numb. It was about the need for Christians to love each other with agape love. As I have written before, I cannot love people because I cannot bring myself to trust people. I can like them, but not love them. During the sermon, he had a video played about a former police officer who framed an innocent man, and how they became close friends after they were both released from imprisonment. Poignant.

Am at Isaiah 20.

2016/09/23 20:35 Friday

Another non-stop day at work. Made it through the work day okay, but now am exhausted beyond measure again. Too tired to read again tonight.

Will be off work tomorrow. Will be participating in the KTMB River Cleanup in the morning. Will be working four days next week to make up for not being at work tomorrow. This week would have been a four-day week and next week would have been a three-day week otherwise. Then, after next week, I will be working Tuesday - Friday for two weeks to help cover for a co-worker's vacation time.

Off to finish getting ready for bed before I drop.

2016/09/22 20:20 Thursday

Was too tired to sleep last night by the time I got to bed. Am exhausted beyond measure. Too tired to read tonight. It was another non-stop day at work, which made the time go by faster, but it also wore me out even more than I was already worn out.

2016/09/21 21:10 Wednesday

It was non-stop at work today. Had over 1700 emails waiting for me, and only got through about 200. A lot of those were ones I could delete without reading, so I really didn't make much progress.

After work, I went by Renown to visit a friend who is in the cardiac ICU. I have been friends with him and his daughter for years. They helped me out a lot when I was having difficulties. I have been praying for him a lot. He has a temporary pacemaker. He can't get a permanent one until he is cleared from an infection.

Too tired to read in Isaiah tonight. I am utterly exhausted.

2016/09/20 17:20 Tuesday

Have to go back to work tomorrow, much to my dismay.

Have had increasingly bad headaches lately, and they don't respond to the over-the-counter pain medication I have. Made an appointment with the nurse practitioner for next Tuesday. Due to the headaches and other symptoms, I am thinking it is time for a CAT scan of my head.

Didn't ride today, not even the trainer, because of the all-day headache. Did walk a couple of laps around Virginia Lake with a friend from back East who is in town for a month.

There is a cycling club meeting this evening, but I'm not going, again because of the headache.

Am at Isaiah 18.

2016/09/19 18:45 Monday

Busy day. Naturopath appointment, massage, chiropractic appointment, and laundry. Was too tired to ride, and didn't have time to do so anyway.

Read Isaiah 14.

2016/09/18 18:55 Sunday

The sermon today was as poignant as I expected it to be. Sermons about Jonah are always soul-wrenching for me, as they are a reminder that I ran from God's will when I ran from the church, my mental illness notwithstanding. I didn't spend time in the belly of a whale, but I did go through an ordeal. Also, I do have spiritual heart disease.

Perhaps because of the condition of my heart, I do not have any sense that it is in God's will for me to return to the church. Beyond a shadow of a doubt in my mind, God did call me to that church years ago when I did go there, but that was then, and this is now. If the pastor were to contact me and tell me that he believed it to be in God's will for me to return, I would return, however difficult it would be for me, but I don't expect that to happen, in any case.

After the sermon, I did an hour-long interval ride on the trainer. The distance was 17.16 miles. Wasn't sure my neck was up to riding on the road, but it was a moot point. Mentally, I wasn't up to riding on the road after the sermon.

The pastor will be in my prayers even more so than usual this week as he faces going through his procedure.

Read Isaiah 13.

2016/09/17 17:20 Saturday

Took the BoB trailer to Costco today. Got there, locked up the bike and trailer, and then realized that I didn't have the credit card that is also my membership card. Might (or might not) have been able to get a temporary membership card, but I didn't have enough cash with me to get what I was planning on buying, anyway. Rode back home to get the card and then rode back. The two round-trips came to 9.5 miles. After that, I ran another errand on the bike. Was really too tired to do that errand, but was being stubborn. The total distance for the day was 12.35 miles. My neck is somewhat stiff and sore, but not too bad.

Will be taking a sign-in sheet to the starting place of the Sunday morning club ride tomorrow. Most board members will either be out of town or will be riding the Edible Pedal tomorrow, so there won't be anyone to lead the ride. The ride starts at 9am, so I will be able to get back in plenty of time for the church service webcast.

Am at Isaiah 13.

2016/09/16 17:00 Friday

The chiropractor said it would be okay to try riding on the road, but I was too tired to do so this afternoon. Will try tomorrow.

Am at Isaiah 11.

2016/09/15 17:35 Thursday

Have been exhausted all day, but went ahead and did an interval workout on the trainer. The distance was 17.33 miles.

My neck is doing better today. Might have ridden on the road today if I hadn't been too tired to ride safely. It's probably for the best that I didn't, though. Don't want to push my luck with the healing of the whiplash. I'll talk to the chiropractor about it tomorrow.

Read Isaiah 8.

2016/09/14 18:30 Wednesday

The massage didn't go as well as I had hoped. Even after an hour of work on my neck and shoulders, I still have a lot of knots. It will take more time than I thought to work them out. My expectations were unrealistic. I should have realized that from the self-massage I've been doing. Have another appointment on Monday. The chiropractor wasn't able to make it in today, unfortunately. My next appointment with him is on Friday.

Did an hour-long interval workout on the trainer. Did the one minute at high intensity on each five-minute mark again. Didn't push myself as hard during the high-intensity minutes today as at the other times, though. The distance was 16.78 miles. Took it a little easier, as during the night it seemed as though I might be coming down with a cold and sore throat. Managed to stave that off, though, in part due to prayer, perhaps. I doubt if God cares if I get a minor illness.

Read Isaiah 7.

2016/09/13 18:45 Tuesday

Did an hour on the trainer today, but didn't do an interval workout. Have been tired today, so I took it easy. The distance was only 15.37 miles.

Read Isaiah 6. Made a misstatement yesterday; it was Isaiah 5 I read then, not Chapter 6.

2016/09/12 18:20 Monday

My ex-brother-in-law from Reno is back in the hospital, this time in Newport Beach. He and his wife were there visiting her parents, and he got food poisoning. With the issues from his metastasized leukemia and chemo, it hit him especially hard. Also, he has been having problems with low blood pressure for some weeks, and that was causing problems getting him stabilized too. It hurts to know he has gone through so much. He is always in my prayers.

Did the same interval workout today as yesterday. This time, the distance was 17.1 miles.

Went to the chiropractor this afternoon. Will be going to the massage therapist on Wednesday, and hopefully will be able to have another chiro appointment right after that. Wednesday is the chiro's day off, but he is going to try to make it in, as he likes to do adjustments right after massage appointments. Have another chiro appointment on Friday. Am hoping to get the whiplash knocked out soon.

Read Isaiah 6.

2016/09/11 18:20 Sunday

Am thankful to be able to watch church services online.

Did an hour-long interval workout on the trainer today. At every five-minute mark, I did a minute at high intensity. The distance was 17.41 miles.

This morning, I had thought perhaps I would be able to ride on the road today. However, as a test, I looked to my left and to my right over my shoulders a few times, and that caused my neck to start hurting. It is hard to be patient.

That brings to mind the sermon from the first time I attended the church from which I am in exile. It was on June 14th, 1998, and the title was "Prescription for Patience!" I still have the sermon listening guide. One point that was made was this: "Determine - from now on - to magnify the greatness of your God rather than the enormity of your circumstances."

Am at Isaiah 5.

2016/09/10 20:10 Saturday

Caught up on things that needed to be done before my vacation. Am still behind on some things, though. There just isn't enough time to get everything done, as we are short-handed. Being exhausted all the time makes it worse, too.

Read Isaiah 1.

2016/09/09 20:25 Friday

Another day of being busy all day. One more work day, and I will be on vacation. Will go back on the 21st.

Finished Song of Solomon, thankfully. Next up is Isaiah. Am looking forward to that.

2016/09/08 21:05 Thursday

The workday wasn't as bad as yesterday, but I was busy all day nonetheless.

Thankfully, the court date for the driver is a Monday, so I won't have to take time off from work. The certified letter was a subpoena. It said my appearance is mandatory, as a decision has been made that my testimony is necessary. I find that a tad amusing. I could have been killed or paralyzed by the driver. I could have suffered serious brain damage. My fear of legal proceedings notwithstanding, the thought had not even occurred to me to skip his trial.

The downstairs neighbor told me she wanted to go to the trial. I was taken aback. I hadn't thought of the possibility of her wanting to go. I told her it would make me nervous to have someone I knew there. She then suggested that she could leave the courtroom when it was time for me to testify. I said no, it would still make me nervous. I don't want to deal with being around her, or anyone else I know, when I am preparing to testify.

Am at Chapter 7 of Song of Solomon.

2016/09/07 20:45 Wednesday

The work day started out about as bad as it gets. Was swamped right off the bat. Got things under control after a while, though.

I had spoken with an RPD officer some time ago, and he told me the driver had insurance. However, it appears that he didn't have it after all. I had left voicemail for RPD's Traffic Division a while ago asking for the driver's insurance information, and an officer left voicemail for me today telling me that they didn't have any insurance information for the driver, so if a claim is going to be filed, it will need to be filed with my insurance company.

When I got home, I found a notice from the USPS slid partway under my door. The Reno City Attorney's office sent me a certified letter. The downstairs neighbor will pick it up for me at the Post Office tomorrow. On the one hand, I am looking forward to getting the ball rolling on the prosecution of the driver, but on the other hand, I dread any legal proceedings.

Read Chapter 1 of Song of Solomon.

2016/09/06 18:40 Tuesday

Did an hour on the trainer again today. The distance was 15.4 miles.

Went to the chiro this afternoon. My neck felt better at first, but then as I was driving to Costco after leaving, the left side of my neck got even more painful than it had been. He had given me a cold pack, so I used that as I was driving, and that helped. My next appointment is on Monday afternoon. Wish I could get in sooner, but I work Wednesday - Saturday this week.

Have lost my temper. I am tired and want to go to bed, but the landscaping guys are using loud leaf-blowers near my apartment, and have been for quite some time. I looked out my window, and it looks as though they are nowhere near being done.

Finished Ecclesiastes. Next is "The Song of Solomon." Can't relate to that book.

2016/09/05 20:30 Monday

Am still sleeping a lot. Slept over 14 hours last night, and then went back to bed after a while to rest for an hour and 15 minutes.

Did a trainer ride of one hour at an easy pace again today. The distance was 15.23 miles.

It is past my bedtime, but there was a cycling club board meeting tonight, so I wasn't able to get to bed as early as I would have liked.

Read Ecclesiastes 11.

2016/09/04 17:25 Sunday

It was good to see the pastor back in the saddle today. The vision of the valley of dry bones is one of my favorite passages in the Bible. In today's sermon, I especially liked the metaphor of the wind blowing. The sermon, and especially that metaphor, struck chords in my soul.

Did a trainer ride today. It was good to be working out again. Rode at an easy pace for an hour; the distance was 14.62 miles. Wasn't sure I should ride, as I was tired and had a headache. However, I massaged my neck a bit beforehand, and that helped relieve the headache. Had planned to start riding on the road next week, but that might not be a good idea. I don't ride with a mirror, and looking over my shoulder often could put a strain on my neck. I'll discuss it with the chiropractor and see how I feel next week.

I still haven't told my sisters about being hit by the car. One of them bought a road bike a year or so ago, and if she knew about my being hit, she might get afraid and stop riding.

Am at Ecclesiastes 11.

2016/09/03 20:05 Saturday

Have had quite a headache since early afternoon. Don't know if that is from the concussion or from the whiplash. Took Tylenol when I got home, but the headache subsided only somewhat.

Read Ecclesiastes 6.

2016/09/02 20:50 Friday

Am getting better, day by day. Not much of a headache today. However, my neck and shoulders feel fairly tight.

Had some good news today. Someone in HR where I work has been out due to cancer, and I had heard she wouldn't be back, but today I found out she will be back. It will be a while, but she is planning on coming back. I've been praying for her.

Made an appointment with a massage therapist today. The earliest she could get me in was the 14th, though.

Read Ecclesiastes 5.

2016/09/01 20:10 Thursday

Cancelled the PT appointment and made an appointment with the chiropractor. Am working on getting an appointment with a massage therapist. The ones in the chiro's office just rent space from him, and I probably wouldn't be able to get in to see either of them very soon.

Had a headache toward the end of the work day, probably due to tight neck muscles.

Read Ecclesiastes 4.

2016/08/31 18:55 Wednesday

It appears that the headaches are from the whiplash, not the concussion. They don't respond well to the Tylenol, but do subside when I massage the very tight muscles in my neck. Made an appointment with a physical therapist today, but then got a recommendation from a cycling club member for a chiropractor who has massage therapists in his office. I'm thinking of cancelling the physical therapist's appointment and going to the chiropractor.

I asked the nurse practitioner if I could ride the trainer starting next Sunday, and then ride on the road the following Sunday. He said yes, but to take it easy and to back off if I have symptoms.

Read Ecclesiastes 3.

2016/08/30 18:55 Tuesday

Am still having headaches. Am hoping that is due to the whiplash and not the concussion.

Read Ecclesiastes 2.

2016/08/29 18:20 Monday

This morning, I finished an addendum to the original statement I made to the police right after the crash. Then I took it to the police station. I asked for a copy of the report, but it wasn't finished. The officer with whom I spoke said it could take three weeks because they are behind. That didn't surprise me, as it was almost a week before an officer returned the call I left saying I wanted to correct something I wrote in the statement and add some information. The officer today gave me the phone number for the traffic division so I could at least get the driver's insurance information. Will likely wait until I get the doctor's office bill before filing claim, but will call them beforehand to let them know I will be filing.

Have had a headache most of the day. Took some Tylenol at about 11:30am, but it didn't help much. Spent about three and a half hours in bed after taking it, but didn't get to rest as much as I would have liked. I did drift off to sleep a couple of times, but Hope kitty was in need of quite a bit of attention while I was laying down.

I have two more work weeks to go, and then I will have ten days off. Am hoping that I will be able to ride by then, if only on the trainer, but preferably on the road.

Read Ecclesiastes 1. Good thing I'm not depressed; it would have reinforced that.

2016/08/28 19:10 Sunday

A while after the church service, I laid down to rest for a couple of hours. I have decided not to ask if I can ride the trainer this weekend. When I pay attention, I realize I still have a headache to one degree or another. Even had to take Tylenol this evening to ease the pain. It didn't help much. Also, I still hear ringing in my ears quite loudly all the time when I pay attention. Another thing is that when I am laying down, I notice that I sometimes have tingling in my arms and legs. Those are all signs of a concussion, so it is clear that I am not yet healed. I will rest up this weekend in the hope that I will survive the next work week better.

Read Proverbs 31. Ecclesiastes is next.

2016/08/28 16:10 Sunday

This will be my last post for a while. The preacher today said that the pastor needs to rest, so no calling, no visiting, no stalking, and no driving by. I would have thought that he would have also said no emailing and no texting, but in any case, he got the point across. I will continue to write herein, as a sort of diary, but will not upload the files for now. Of course, I will be praying even harder than usual for the pastor.

2016/08/27 20:35 Saturday

Thankfully, the pace was a lot slower at work today, as is usual on Saturdays. Got caught up on a few things. Took it easy. Didn't have a headache today, and my ears weren't ringing as much for most of the day as they have been the last few days. They are ringing quite a bit, now, though, presumably because I am tired.

Am thankful my weekend has started, and that tomorrow is Sunday, which means there will be a church service webcast to watch. This is one of my four-day weekends.

Will rest up tomorrow, and then send a message to the nurse practitioner asking if I can do easy trainer rides on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. The paper he gave me said, in part, "No exercise until medically cleared." I am playing it by the book, in case further medical problems arise as a result of being hit and I need to file a claim against the driver's insurance for treatment.

Read Proverbs 30.

2016/08/26 20:30 Friday

Today's work day was even worse. Never did get to take a break during the 12-hour shift. Paced myself, and ate some food at my desk while working, but still, 12-hour shifts are bad enough even with breaks and without a concussion. Had a headache and ringing ears all day long. Just didn't get enough rest last night because I got to bed so late. Didn't want to take Tylenol at work, as I didn't want to mask the pain in case it turned out that I should go home to protect my brain. Did take some as I was leaving, and that helped the headache. My ears are still ringing, though.

One more workday, and then I will have four days off. Two more work weeks after tomorrow, and I will be on vacation again. Hopefully I'll be back to riding on the road by then, even if I have to take it easy still.

Read Proverbs 29.

2016/08/25 21:30 Thursday

The work day today was worse than yesterday. At least the headache I had toward the end of the day today wasn't as bad as the one I had yesterday, and it subsided a while after I got home.

A police officer returned my call today. The driver has insurance, and he has been cited for DUI, although they haven't gotten the tests back yet. I'll be filing a claim. So far, I'm out about $400, not including the doctor's office visit. That isn't much, given the circumstances. Maybe I should get an attorney and sue him for pain and suffering. Don't want to deal with a trial, though.

After two days back at work, I am close to wishing that I had been killed when I got hit. I'm trying to keep in mind that as close a call as it was, God must have had some reason for keeping me alive.

Tried to read Proverbs 29, but the headache started coming back. Am just too tired. It is past my bedtime, but life makes demands.

2016/08/24 20:50 Wednesday

Am fed up with my job. We are too short-handed. I have a concussion, but was on the go non-stop today when I should have been taking it slow.

Read Proverbs 28. Proverbs gives me hope that eventually I will have justice regarding my job and the personnel issues, if only in the next world.

2016/08/23 20:00 Tuesday

It has been an up-and-down day. I am emotionally drained. My soul is wounded. I am grabbing ahold of God for dear life.

First, I saw the ex-brother-in-law, Chuck, who lives here this morning. He is looking very fragile, and I couldn't pin him down very well on the prognosis of the leukemia. Only a few tears escaped my eyes while we were talking, as I was trying to be strong. When I got home, though, the pain hit full-force. I did ask him if he believes in God, and he said yes. He told me he was very religious when he was younger, but then fell away for a time. I told him I just wanted to make sure he was saved. I also told him I was praying hard for him, and he told me that one thing that keeps him from giving up at times is knowing that people are praying for him. I'm going back and forth between struggling with God over his condition and begging God for mercy for him.

This afternoon, I took Hope to the vet to have a spot on her chin checked out. It had scabbed up a couple of times, and then the scab would come off. I was afraid she might have cancer, and was very relieved when the vet told me that it was acne. I was so relieved that it felt as though my knees were going to buckle. He gave her an antibiotic shot that will last a while so that I won't have to give her pills. While I was there, I told him about my getting hit by the car. He is a cyclist too, and he was shocked that something like that would happen at Virginia Lake. He rides by Virginia Lake on the way home from work. He was glad that I am okay.

Before I left for the vet's office, I emailed my other ex-brother-in-law, who lives in Vegas. I told him about Chuck's condition and my being hit, and gave him an update on my fatigue. When I got back from the vet's, I found an email from him saying that he had bad news too. He had a GI bleed in early July, and it turned out he had a stomach tumor. It was removed on August 9th. Thank God it was benign. He was under the knife for four hours, and spent four days recovering in the hospital. He is better now, except for a nagging staph infection on part of the incision. He is an amateur triathlete, but it will be a while before he will be able to work out again. They had to cut his ab muscles in half and sew them back together.

Read Proverbs 27.

2016/08/22 17:20 Monday

While I was praying this morning about the fact that I had recommitted my life to Christ on Monday night and then got hit by a car on Wednesday, something the pastor said in a recent sermon came to mind. He said that the saved no longer have to face God's wrath, but do have to face the wrath of Satan and of man.

Read Proverbs 26.

2016/08/21 20:45 Sunday

Have had very bad insomnia since the crash. Thought maybe it was due to the Tylenol, so I did some research. Found that it can cause insomnia. Also found that it isn't an anti-inflammatory. Stopped taking it and am doing fairly well. Just have a very slight headache. Spent quite a bit of time in bed today, but that is due in part to the insomnia. Also, I need to rest in order to heal.

It occurred to me during the sermon this morning that I recommitted my life to Christ on the Monday night before I got hit by the car on Wednesday. Don't know what to make of that.

Also, regarding the crash, I left some things out when I wrote about what happened. I wasn't thinking very clearly in the aftermath of being hit and when I wrote about it, and have had to go back over in my mind what happened in order to get clear about it. For one thing, it took a while to register in my mind that the car had hit a tree. I haven't been back to look closely, but I have driven by, and I'm guessing the tree trunk was probably about eight inches in diameter. It was severed, and after the fact I remembered seeing the tree a ways down the path. Here is a little more about what happened: I heard the car coming up behind me at a very high rate of speed. Apparently I stopped pedaling, as my Garmin GPS recorded my going from 15.2 mph to 13.0 mph in the six seconds before I was hit. There was no oncoming traffic, so I expected the car to go around me on my left. However, suddenly he was coming up on my right. I could hear that, and heard him hit the curb. I had the thought, "What is he doing on my right?" I pedaled and veered left, looking over my right shoulder. The car lost forward momentum, apparently from hitting the tree, and the back of the car swung around toward me. I tried to get out of the way by pedaling harder and moving left, but it hit my rear wheel. As noted before, I went flying, and landed on my back and head. I got up right away, and saw that the car was overturned. A witness on the phone with 911 came over to ask me if I was okay. I told her I was, and she went back to the sidewalk. My bike wouldn't roll, so I started working on that. I found that the rear wheel had been knocked almost out of the dropouts. While I had my back to the car, the driver crawled out. One of the witnesses told me later that he seemed to be drunk and started walking away, but someone stopped him. She also told me that it appeared that he didn't see me until the last minute and then swerved.

I hope that the guy who hit me pleads guilty to whatever charges are filed against him. I don't want to face being in a courtroom and having to testify.

Read Proverbs 25.

2016/08/20 18:40 Saturday

The headache and sore neck are improving. Am still taking Tylenol every six hours or so, though, to help keep any possible swelling down. Will do that for another couple of days or so, and then try going without it. The nurse practitioner's orders read in part, "No return to work until headache resolved without medication." I'm not due to return to work until Wednesday, so I will have a chance to see if the headache gets worse without the Tylenol.

Took photos at the picnic. Was worn out by the time the picnic was over, but didn't have much of a headache. Was glad I didn't have to drive back. Laid down to rest after I got home.

It occurred to me last night that I could have ended up with broken bones or have ended up paralyzed. I thank the Lord the damage wasn't worse.

Read Proverbs 24.

2016/08/19 17:15 Friday

Woke up at about 5am feeling fairly good. Ate breakfast and then went back to bed for a while. Later, I drove to Costco to pick up a fruit bowl to take to the cycling club picnic in Genoa tomorrow. Unfortunately, before I had even gotten the 2 1/2 miles to Costco, my head was hurting again. Will be going to the picnic, but will be getting a ride there. Don't really even want to go, but I am committed to taking photos. I could get out of it, but I think I'll be okay. Will make sure I take some Tylenol with me.

Read Proverbs 23.

2016/08/18 20:10 Thursday

It still hasn't sunk in that I could have gotten killed yesterday. One of the witnesses said it looked as though the driver didn't see me until the last minute and then swerved. If he hadn't swerved, I probably would have gotten killed. The car had slowed down substantially by the time it slid into me, but it was still moving at a good clip.

After the adrenaline wore off, my head and neck started hurting. Went to the doctor's office today and saw the nurse practioner. He said I have a concussion and whiplash. He told me not to do anything for at least three to four days that would exercise my brain, and then see how I feel. He said not even to read a novel. Probably won't be able to do even easy rides on the trainer for over two weeks, and riding on the road will likely be out for over a month.

Read Proverbs 22. Shouldn't be reading, so I probably won't read tomorrow.

2016/08/17 19:30 Wednesday

Got hit by a car today while riding at Virginia Lake. The crash was rather spectacular. I was riding along and heard a car coming up behind me very fast. Next thing I know, I hear the car hit the curb on my right and I see it coming up next to me. I swerved left, but the car slid into me. I went flying and landed on my back and head. While I was flying, the car was overturning. The driver was taken to the hospital, and he will be arrested. A police officer said they believe he was high. There were witnesses, thankfully. I guess God isn't through with me yet. I figure I'm blessed that I didn't get killed. I'm a little sore, and have a scraped-up elbow, but other than that I'm okay.

Am afraid of something. While I was still at the crash scene, there were police cars outside the building where I live, according to one of my neighbors. I pray fervently that they weren't looking for me. I consistently give thanks that my legal troubles are over, and pray fervently that I will never be in legal trouble again. Still, given that I obviously watch the church service webcasts, I do get frightened about the possibility of being in trouble again. I wouldn't think that merely watching the webcasts and commenting on them would be sufficient to constitute a crime, but I've been blind-sided before. I'll just have to take to heart the four points about what Isaiah 40:28-31 can do and hope that I was one of the people being preached to. However, regarding point number 4, I will never take the action of contacting anyone at the church. I will never take that risk.

Read Proverbs 21.

2016/08/16 18:15 Tuesday

Have had low blood pressure again today. The lowest I've seen it today was 83/60. That was not long after I got out of bed. It has been only marginally higher than that since then. Went ahead and rode outside, though. Was encouraged by feeling better during yesterday's trainer ride, so I decided to risk riding on the road. Did 15.81 miles of laps around the park at an average speed of 14.1 mph. Was taking it easy. Started feeling woozy at about seven miles in, but kept going. My goal was 15 or so miles. Am thankful that I was able to complete the ride safely and without mishap. It was good to ride on the road again.

On the last lap, I ran into a guy I know who was riding laps also, probably as a cool-down from a ride elsewhere. I've mentioned him before. He is an accident waiting to happen. He rides all over the road (including in the opposite traffic lane), is not cautious at stop signs, is not courteous of drivers, doesn't wear a helmet, and wears earbuds. I run stop signs too, as do all of the riders I know, but those of us who are safe riders are careful when we do it.

Last night, during one of the wakeful times caused by the cursed hot flashes, I reviewed last Sunday's sermon in my mind. Went through a ceremonial recommitment of my life to Christ, and some other recommitments also. Reviewing the sermon leaves me with poignant feelings this evening.

Made an appointment today to take Hope kitty to the vet. She has a growth on her chin. It is almost like a scab. She had a growth in the same spot and of the same type a few weeks ago, but it fell off not long after I noticed it. Since it is back, I'm worried. The appointment is for next Tuesday.

Am at Proverbs 21.

2016/08/15 18:20 Monday

Have been woozy most of the day due to low blood pressure. Had been hoping to ride outdoors, but wasn't able to. Did do an hour on the trainer. The distance was 16.09 miles. Felt better while riding, but not long after I stopped I started feeling woozy again.

Am at Proverbs 18.

2016/08/14 19:20 Sunday

Just noticed that yesterday I wrote that I didn't have to be back at work until the 20th. That was a typo. I don't have to be back at work until the 24th.

Today's sermon was comforting and inspiring. I am thankful to be able to watch church service webcasts.

Did an hour on the trainer. Once again, I was too tired to ride safely outside, and besides, it was windy. The distance was 15.66 miles.

Read Proverbs 15.

2016/08/13 20:35 Saturday

It was slower today than the last three days, which is normal for a Saturday. Wrapped up some things before starting my vacation. Thankfully, I don't have to be back to work until the 20th.

Read Proverbs 14.

2016/08/12 20:15 Friday

Was busy non-stop in the morning, but it slowed down by the late afternoon. Tried to remember to send all the emails that were on the back burner.

Read Proverbs 13.

2016/08/11 21:00 Thursday

Another non-stop day at work. Yesterday was one, also. Two more days and then I will be on vacation. Won't be going anywhere other than to Genoa on the 20th for the cycling club picnic. I don't like to travel; it seems like a waste of money, and besides, I just don't like to do it.

Read Proverbs 12.

2016/08/10 21:15 Wednesday

When I crashed on my bike a while back, my head bounced off of the curb. It was a low-speed crash, and I had a helmet on, so I wasn't hurt. The helmet was made by Giro, and they have a crash replacement program which gives 30% off a new helmet. I ordered one in matte titanium / silver, which I really like, but before I wore it I decided to exchange it for a white / highlight yellow one for visibility's sake. (I have been wearing a helmet, just a different one.) Giro emailed me a FedEx shipping label, and I took the helmet to a FedEx Office place this evening. Lo and behold, the employee was JP. The thought crossed my mind, briefly, that I could tell him that I watch the church service webcasts and that I think he has a great voice. Prudence stopped me, though. He likely would have asked me why I don't attend church, or invited me to the church, and that would have been very uncomfortable. I got a receipt for the shipment, and on it was a URL for a survey. I took the survey and sang his praises.

Read Proverbs 11.

2016/08/09 18:30 Tuesday

Had trouble falling asleep last night, in part because Hope kitty kept me awake for quite a while. She was in need of more attention than usual. Then, I woke up early and couldn't get back to sleep. Slept only about 9 hours, but didn't have to go back to bed to rest today, thankfully.

Rode to a post office, then to Costco. The distance was 8.77 miles. Riding was a bit sketchy because I was tired, so I didn't do a workout outdoors. Did an hour on the trainer. The distance was 16.77 miles, which is progress.

This week is a four-day work week, and then I will be on vacation. Will be off work from the 14th to the 23rd. The cycling club's annual picnic in Genoa will be on Saturday the 20th. I probably won't do any of the rides, but will attend the picnic.

Read Proverbs 10. Too tired to read more.

2016/08/08 19:10 Monday

Slept only about eleven hours last night, and didn't have to lay down to rest during the day. That's progress.

Did one hour on the trainer. The distance was 15.88 miles. That's progress, too. Have a couple of errands to run tomorrow, which I am planning to do by bike. Will see how I feel while doing the errands. If I feel okay, I'll try an easy workout of laps around the park tomorrow. The plan is to do about 15 miles, not including the errands.

Was excused from jury duty. Gave fervent thanks for that. However, the email said it was not a permanent excuse. Guess I'd better resolve myself to the possibility that I might be called again.

Have been feeling closer to God lately, at least when I'm not at work and distracted by the tasks to be performed.

Am at Proverbs 10.

2016/08/07 19:40 Sunday

Jonah is a book that is very poignant to me. It reminds me of the fact that I ran from the church from which I am in exile, and have run at times from God. Even so, I am looking forward to the sermons.

I keep forgetting to mention that after several days of getting used to the monovision contact lenses, I found that I really like them. They are great. When I had regular contacts and even bifocal contacts, I very frequently had to use reading glasses. Now, I never need them.

I sent an email today to the court asking to be excused from jury duty. I'm praying they will grant the request.

Did 45 minutes on the trainer today. That was my goal. I started getting woozy by only about six minutes in, but decided to hang on until 30 minutes and then see if I could do 45. The mileage was only 11.13 miles, and I averaged only 14.7 mph. Didn't want to push myself out of concern I would make my health worse. Felt pretty good afterward. Will try for an hour tomorrow.

Am at Proverbs 8.

2016/08/06 20:50 Saturday

It wasn't as busy at work today as it has been, so I got some things off the back burner.

Read Proverbs 4.

2016/08/05 21:25 Friday

Received some good news today. The guy who hit my truck isn't going to file a claim with his insurance company, so I won't have to worry about defending my position that he was at fault, and my insurance rates won't go up. It probably won't cost him all that much, as there wasn't any structural damage. It was just the lens on his taillight, and that will probably cost less than his deductible.

Was on the go non-stop at work today. One more day, and then I will have three days off. Next will come a four-day work week, and then I will be on vacation.

Am going to try to get out of jury duty. Will tell them the truth, namely that I would be in such a state of anxiety merely from being in a courthouse that I wouldn't be able to think clearly.

Read Proverbs 3.

2016/08/04 21:25 Thursday

When it rains, it pours. I have been summoned for jury duty in the US District Court. It was traumatic filling out the questionnaire form, as it asked if I had a criminal history and then I had to answer questions about it. And then I had to request a letter showing that my civil rights have been restored, because I don't know what I did with the original one I had. I wish I had never had my civil rights restored. I'll have a panic attack just being in a courthouse. Maybe I'll be rejected based on the questionnaire.

Read Proverbs 2.

2016/08/03 19:10 Wednesday

If it's not one thing, it's another. I drove to a store this afternoon, and after I pulled into a parking spot, I decided to move over some. I backed up, and then was going forward when someone coming out of a parking spot behind me backed into my truck. My truck wasn't damaged, as his taillight went into my bumper, but I'm assuming my insurance rates will go up even though he backed into me. There weren't any witnesses.

Wouldn't normally have driven to the store where the crash happened, but I was too tired to ride there today. Put on cycling gear this morning with the intent to ride there, but then decided I was too tired. Laid down to rest for a couple of hours, then did a 30-minute trainer ride. Was woozy almost the whole time. Did only 7.17 miles.

Read Proverbs 1.

2016/08/02 20:25 Tuesday

Had quite a blow today. One of my ex-brothers-in-law, the one who lives here, almost died of leukemia a few years ago, but he pulled through. I pray consistently that the leukemia won't come back, and give thanks for answered prayers regarding his health. I went to his store, Eclipse Running, for some supplements today, and asked the manager about Chuck. He told me that Chuck's leukemia was back. I couldn't hold back the tears. However, the prognosis is good, thank God. His body is responding to chemo very well. Please pray for him. I believe he is saved, but will verify that the next time I see him.

Of late, I have been increasingly motivated to draw closer to God. It has occurred to me that my prayer time has been seriously lacking. I have been talking to God, but not worshiping Him or drawing near to Him as I should. Finding out about Chuck today has reinforced my motivation. I want to please God, and I want to experience the awesomeness of His presence, but I also want very much for my prayers to be more effective.

Didn't have time to do a workout today, in part because of being tired and going back to bed, even though I would have done only 30-45 minutes on the trainer. Decided to take a rest day instead of trying to squeeze in the workout.

Finished Psalms.

2016/08/01 21:05 Monday

This morning, I rode to the bike shop to get a derailleur adjustment on one of my bikes. Then I took the trailer to the grocery store. That total distance was 6.88 miles. Was thinking about doing a trainer ride, but was too tired. Instead, I watched a sermon and then laid down to rest for an hour. Then I rode to the cyclng club board meeting this evening. That round-trip was 7.38 miles.

Regarding the situation with the police cars yesterday, I'm thinking maybe the officer made the noise with the intent of slowing down a driver who passed by him. Because no officer got out of a car, that makes more sense than to think the noise was aimed at me, even though I was the only one around other than some cars going through the light.

The estradiol wasn't working, so I stopped taking it a while ago. I'm thinking the hot flashes have gotten worse due to adrenal system problems, as the hot flashes started getting very bad after the gluten experiment, and gluten intolerence and adrenal problems often go hand-in-hand. Have been taking supplements and eating foods that are said to provide adrenal support, and that seems to be helping, albeit slowly.

The sermon illustration about the elephant being held in place by an 18-inch stake keeps coming to mind. Another thing that comes to mind is the statement to the effect that there is often a difference between one's Christian experience and what theology says it should be. Another is that it was said that the elements of the "Romans Road to Salvation" are also applicable to the saved. Much food for thought.

Read Psalm 147. Will read it again tomorrow, when hopefully I won't be so tired. "He heals the brokenhearted...."