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My purpose is to live for Christ alone.

13bForgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
- Philippians 3:13b-14 (NIV)

For beautiful the prize, and great our hope.

2017/02/18 20:10 Saturday

Made it through the work day, barely. By 2pm, I didn't see how I would make it until 6pm and then be able to drive home. Am so exhausted now that I can barely see straight.

2017/02/17 18:15 Friday

Didn't get much done today. Had trouble dragging myself out of bed this morning, and have been exhausted all day. Did do 20 miles on the trainer at an average speed of 24.5 mph. Given the ease of pedaling, it appears that I had the resistance unit not quite tight enough against the tire. I like having it fairly loose, as when it is tighter, there is a squeaking noise created by the interaction of the unit and the tire.

The orthopedist is talking about the possibility of surgery. She poked and prodded an area near my elbow again, and the pain was very intense. I'll be going in for an MRI, and then for a follow-up with her. It is my right elbow, and I am right-handed, so I'm hoping very much that surgery won't be warranted. She thinks there might be a fracture.

Read Jeremiah 11.

2017/02/16 20:05 Thursday

Made it through the work day. Was swamped again all day. Will be off work tomorrow because of the doctor's appointment. Have a lot to do tomorrow.

Too tired to read tonight. Was too tired last night, too.

2017/02/15 20:00 Wednesday

Was swamped all day at work today, and tomorrow will be worse, as I will be the only one working in IT. Am exhausted.

2017/02/14 18:15 Tuesday

Had trouble sleeping last night. It took a long time before I fell asleep, and then I was restless the whole night.

Paid my podiatrist's bill today. Every time I pay a bill, I am thankful that I have the money to pay bills.

Rode to Costco this morning. The round-trip was 4.84 miles. Had planned to do a ~20 mile ride on the road after that, but got very tired before I headed out. Felt too tired even to ride the trainer, but went ahead and did it anyway. Had more energy after doing that. Did 20 miles at an average speed of 22.6 mph.

Read Jeremiah 10.

2017/02/13 19:20 Monday

Rode the new bike today. Did 20.25 miles of laps around the park. Averaged only 13.7 mph.

Read Jeremiah 9.

2017/02/12 17:35 Sunday

Something strange is happening. Recently, I was awakened at about one o'clock in the morning by loud knocking on a door that I think was the next-door neighbors'. I then heard footsteps going down the stairs. Then, this morning at about 12:45am, I again heard loud knocking, again next door, as far as I could tell. This time, I got out of bed to look out the peep-hole in my door. I wear a T-shirt and shorts to bed, but I wanted to put on a robe before going to the door. I did that and put on glasses, which took quite a short time. When I got to the door, I didn't see anything. I kept looking for a time, and then saw two police cars pass by. It all took place in such a short amount of time that it seems almost as though the police had knocked but not waited for a response. One would think that if the police wanted someone to answer a door in the middle of the night, they would wait quite a while for the person to wake up, get out of bed, and get at least somewhat presentable before opening the door.

Maybe it wasn't next door. Maybe they were knocking on my door, although it didn't really sound like that. Maybe the arresting officer in my previous legal troubles works the graveyard shift now, and maybe I am in legal trouble again. I can't imagine that being the case, but I was blind-sided before and could be again. I often give thanks that my legal troubles are over, and pray that I will never be in legal trouble again. I am praying that even more fervently now, even though I can't imagine that simply watching church service webcasts would be grounds for legal trouble.

Have been utterly exhausted all day, in part because I had trouble getting back to sleep after being awakened by the knocking. Had planned on riding the new bike today, but was much too tired to ride safely outdoors. Did 20 miles on the trainer, though, at an average speed of 22.4 mph. A few times, I felt so tired that I had to close my eyes briefly.

Started reading the Bible again, picking up where I left off. Read Jeremiah 8.

2017/02/11 20:05 Saturday

Made it through the work week, barely. Am exhuasted beyond measure.

2017/02/10 20:30 Friday

Forgot to post last night, and almost forgot again tonight. Have been so tired it is hard to remember everything. One more work day, and then I will have three off. Will be working Wednesday, Thursday, and Saturday next week. Will be taking Friday off because I have an orthopedist appointment that morning regarding the elbow that was injured when I got hit by the car.

2017/02/08 21:25 Wednesday

Was swamped all day at work. Am exhausted beyond measure.

2017/02/07 17:30 Tuesday

Put on some rain gear and rode outdoors today. Got drizzled on some, and it was breezy, but overall it wasn't bad. Did 20.15 miles. Averaged only 12.3 mph. Am still riding with my right foot unclipped. Need to overcome the anxiety about being clipped in.

Am very exhausted. Need to get to bed asap.

Back to work tomorrow.

2017/02/06 20:40 Monday

Did 20 miles on the trainer. Increased the cadence to about 75 rpm. Averaged 24.8 mph. Rode in the morning. If I had waited until afternoon, I could have ridden outdoors. The weather forecast led me to believe that I wouldn't be able to, but the wind turned out to be not as bad as it was in the morning.

Had a cycling club board meeting this evening. Will be getting to bed later than I would like because of that. Am utterly exhausted.

2017/02/05 18:30 Sunday

Wasn't able to ride the new bike today. As I was watching the church service, I could see the wind coming up by the way the trees were being blown around. I could also hear it whistling in the eaves. By the time the service was over, accuweather was reporting the speed at 28 mph with gusts to 38 mph. They had been predicting a speed of 5 mph with gusts up to 10 mph. Oh, well. Was having balance problems, so it wouldn't have been a good idea to ride on the road anyway.

Did 20 miles on the trainer. Averaged 20.9 mph. I had not set the resistance unit as tight against the wheel as usual, which made it easier to pedal. I am working on increasing the cadence of my pedal strokes. I have been pedaling at about 60 rpm, but a low cadence like that is harder on the muscular system. Today, I was pedaling at about 70 rpm. I plan to increase that, as it is recommended that cadence be at least 90 rpm. It will take time to get used to pedaling faster.

My trainer setup is next to a window that overlooks part of the parking lot. As I was getting ready to get on the trainer, I saw my next-door neighbor get in her car and drive away. I was glad about that, as the trainer makes noise. I worry that the noise might disturb her, so I am always glad when she is not home while I am riding the trainer. The downstairs neighbor has commented about the noise, although she says it doesn't bother her. The first time she heard it, she thought it was a small truck idling in the parking lot, but she was confused because she didn't see a vehicle idling in the lot.

2017/02/04 20:25 Saturday

Made it through the work week. Am utterly exhausted.

The weather forecast is looking good for riding tomorrow. Am looking forward to getting in another ride on my new bike. Looks like I'll be on the trainer Monday and Tuesday, due to rain. I have rain gear, and a couple of bikes with fenders, but I doubt if I'll be motivated to ride in the rain.

2017/02/03 21:00 Friday

One more work day down, one to go.

2017/02/02 20:55 Thursday

Frustrating day at work. Two more days to go before my weekend. It will be a three-day weekend this week.

2017/02/01 20:00 Wednesday

Took the truck to Costco to have the tires checked this morning. There was an outside chance that one might have a leak, and I wanted to play it safe. Took a bike with me and rode home, and then rode back to pick it up. That round-trip was 4.61 miles. Did laps around the park on my new bike after that. Did only 15.82 miles at an average speed of only 13.3 mph. Was tired, and short on time. I stopped for a bit, too, to chat with the guy who owns the horses that are pastured by the park. The new bike is awesome.

2017/01/31 19:15 Tuesday

Did 20.20 miles of laps around the park on the Sirrus Expert bike today. Took it easy. Averaged only 13.2 mph. Rode with the right foot's cleat unclipped the whole way. For some reason, I have a lot of anxiety about being clipped in. Have been practicing clipping in and unclipping while on the trainer, but that hasn't helped the anxiety when I am actually on the road. At least I didn't feel woozy at all.

2017/01/30 18:45 Monday

Frustrating day, for a few reasons. It passed too fast, for one thing.

Did only 15 miles on the trainer. Wanted to ride outdoors, but the time got away from me, and I didn't want to be finishing up the ride at dusk. Did only 15 miles because I got a late start, and because I started getting very woozy at about six miles. The late start was in part because Amy called just as I was getting ready to change into my cycling gear. She asked me to go to the shop to take a photo of a bike and text it to someone. She had forgotten to take her phone with her today. As to the ride, I started feeling somewhat better at about 13 miles, but didn't want to push it to 20. Assuming I have adrenal fatigue, I didn't want to stress my adrenals. Moderate exercise is good for adrenal fatigue, but pushing oneself too hard exacerbates the problem.

2017/01/29 19:55 Sunday

Did 20 miles on the trainer. Took it easy. The average speed was 17 mph. If other people can watch TV to rest, I can ride the trainer. Almost skipped the ride because I was tired, but riding gave me a lot more energy.

2017/01/28 20:20 Saturday

Made it through the work week, somehow. Now I have four days off. Need to rest a lot.

2017/01/27 20:20 Friday

One more work day to go. Was swamped all day again today. Hopefully tomorrow won't be as busy. Saturdays are usually slower-paced. Would like to get caught up on some things.

2017/01/26 21:10 Thursday

Am exhausted.

2017/01/25 20:30 Wednesday

It was a busy day at work today. And for the next three days, I will be the only one working the day shift in IT. Am so exhausted that I can't even think of words to express how exhausted I am.

2017/01/24 18:35 Tuesday

Did 20 miles on the trainer at an average speed of 19.4 mph. Am probably pushing myself too hard, too soon. Felt good during and for a while after the ride, but then started feeling very exhausted.

2017/01/23 18:30 Monday

Slept 12 1/2 hours last night.

Did 20 miles on the trainer at an average speed of 18.8 mph. Felt good during and after the ride.

Am exhausted now, though, after being up for eleven hours. Maybe I'm pushing myself too hard, too soon on the trainer.

2017/01/22 17:40 Sunday

Slept only about nine hours last night. That's progress. I'll be getting to bed earlier tonight than last night, though, and I am guessing I will sleep about ten or eleven hours.

Did 20 miles on the trainer at an average speed of 17.6 mph. That's progress, too. Was really tired before the ride, but it was good that I rode anyway. Riding gave me more energy.

It is snowing again as I write this. Am hoping there won't be residual snow and ice on the roads when I go back to work on Wednesday.

2017/01/21 20:05 Saturday

Today wasn't as busy as yesterday, but I did stay busy all day. Got caught up on some things. Was very tired, which made it hard to function. When I got up this morning, I was still so tired that I was shaky.

Am thankful that I haven't had to drive much in bad conditions this winter. The timing of my driving to and from work has been good. Am also thankful that I will be off work until Wednesday, which means I won't have to drive to and from work during the upcoming storm.

2017/01/20 20:45 Friday

Was swamped at work today, as usual. Tomorrow might be worse, as I will be the only one in IT working. However, Saturdays are usually not as busy as weekdays.

2017/01/19 18:00 Thursday

Did 15 miles on the trainer. Picked up the pace. Averaged 17.8 mph. Probably overdid it. By 4:15pm, I was utterly exhausted. Am just now wrapping things up, though. Off to finish getting ready for bed.

2017/01/18 20:00 Wednesday

Didn't have time to ride today.

Need to get to bed. Am so tired my head is spinning.

2017/01/17 20:50 Tuesday

Did 15 miles on the trainer at an average speed of 17.2 mph.

Went to a cycling club meeting this evening.

It is way past my bedtime for a day off. Am about to pass out from exhaustion.

2017/01/16 20:05 Monday

Did ten miles on the trainer. Picked up the pace. Averaged 17.3 mph.

Should have been in bed two hours ago, but I went to dinner with Amy. Then, when I got home, I took my supplements. I need to wait a while after taking them before going to bed so they don't get stuck in my esophagus. It seems to take a while for them to reach my stomach. If I go to bed too soon, I feel pain down low in my chest.

2017/01/15 18:45 Sunday

Did an easy ten miles on the trainer. Averaged 16.2 mph. Felt too tired to ride, but forced myself to do it. Felt a little better afterward.

It is late. Need to get to bed.

2017/01/14 16:15 Saturday

Had a lot of trouble dragging myself out of bed this morning. I hit snooze for about an hour and a half. Made it to the event in time, though. I had planned to shower this morning, but didn't have time.

On the way home, I dropped by the bike shop. I ordered a new bike a while ago, and it is in. I wanted to look at it, but I didn't pick it up. A fellow board member of the cycling club is going to take it for a ride before I pick it up, and he won't be doing that until the snow is off the side of the roads. I left it at the shop so that they can put on his pedals for him. He rides a different type of clipless pedals than I do.

Am exhausted. It is only 4:15pm, but I'm going to finish getting ready for bed and hit the sack anyway.

2017/01/13 21:00 Friday

There wasn't any problem driving to work today. The roads were dry.

Was on the go all day long. For one thing, my new boss kept sending me emails asking for information. Didn't get everything done that I would have liked. Had to turn over some things to the night shift, but that was okay. Working alone on a weekday is a challenge.

Tomorrow is the KTMB Christmas Tree Recycling event with the Green Team. It will be cold. Our shift is from 9am - 1pm.

Am so tired I am woozy.

2017/01/12 20:35 Thursday

One more work day and then I will be off for six days. Am worried about the drive to work tomorrow. It is a 15-mile or so drive. The freeway was wet when I was driving home this evening, and I am concerned that the water on the road will freeze overnight. The freeway could be an ice rink at 5am.

2017/01/11 20:50 Wednesday

Because one person from my shift at work is on vacation and my boss was let go yesterday, I was the only person in IT today. I will be the only person for the next two days, also. Made it through the day. It wasn't overwhelming, but I was busy all day.

The roads weren't too bad when I was driving to work this morning at about 5:15am, but I was talking to someone else who drove in later, and he said he saw a lot of cars that had spun out. Am not looking forward to tomorrow's drive to and from work.

2017/01/10 20:25 Tuesday

My boss was let go today due to downsizing. Our new boss is a guy based in Buena Park.

2017/01/09 17:25 Monday

The ortho doctor gave me a steroid shot in my elbow this morning. She told me that it might temporarily affect the use of my hand. It did. The hand doesn't work right, but it is getting better.

2017/01/08 17:10 Sunday

Woke up at about 3:45am and couldn't get back to sleep. Did laundry before the church service webcast. Wasn't sure what to make about a couple of things in the sermon. After the webcast, I cleaned the bathroom. Then I did a slow-paced ten miles on the trainer. Averaged 16 mph.

2017/01/07 20:20 Saturday

Today wasn't as bad at work as yesterday. Was swamped in the morning, but then the pace slowed down. It was good that it slowed down, because I was bushed.

Have a busy two days coming up. Orthopedist's appointment, grocery shopping, laundry, and housecleaning, not to mention the church service webcast. Wish I could just relax instead of doing errands and chores.

2017/01/06 20:20 Friday

I was the only one working in IT today, and will be the only one again tomorrow. Was swamped all day today. Tomorrow will likely be more of the same. Then I will have just two days off, as I will be working Tuesday - Friday next week so that I can have Saturday off for the KTMB Christmas Tree Recycling event with the Green Team at work. I will have five days off the week after because of that.

2017/01/05 18:05 Thursday

Did today's slow-paced trainer ride of ten miles at an average speed of 16 mph.

Amy responded to my text asking what the book is by saying it is a Christian-based book she thinks I will enjoy. I then responded by asking who is the author and what is the title. She didn't respond. She called me today about a bike-related issue, and I asked her what the book is. She said it is a surprise. I told her I didn't like surprises. She still wouldn't tell me. I texted her the following just now: "By the way, I won't read the book if it is by a female author. I don't fit the mold of a female, Christian or otherwise. Never have, never will, never will want to. That is why I will never attend church again, among other things. It would just make me even more bitter about being female. Good night; I'm going to bed now." I'm sure it is by a female and that Amy is trying to "fix" me. I do not take well to that. It just makes me more and more bitter about being female, and reinforces my desire for absolute and eternal oblivion.

2017/01/04 17:55 Wednesday

Did a slow-paced ten miles on the trainer again. Averaged 15.8 mph.

Went to the nutritionist today. She irritated me, probably in part because I have a low tolerance for dealing with females. Bought some supplements that will hopefully be helpful. Time will tell.

Amy texted me this evening letting me know she had bought a book for both of us that she thinks both of us might enjoy. She also wrote that maybe we could have lunch on Saturday. She doesn't seem to be able to comprehend that I work on Saturdays. My work schedule isn't all that complicated, but she keeps wanting to have lunch on my work days. I texted her back letting her know (again) that I work on Saturdays. I also asked what the book is. She hasn't responded. Knowing her, it is probably some book that she thinks will change my loathing of being female. If it is, I will very likely break off contact with her, including being a customer at the bike shop.

2017/01/03 17:55 Tuesday

Did another slow-paced ten miles on the trainer. Picked up the pace a little today. Averaged 16.7 mph. Felt good for a while after that, but then started feeling more tired again for a while. Should probably force myself to take it easier.

2017/01/02 17:25 Monday

Did a slow-paced ten miles on the trainer yesterday and again today. Yesterday I averaged 15.8 mph and today's average was 16 mph.

2017/01/01 17:05 Sunday

Happy New Year.